By Robert J. Ottaviani

The Greyness
And we awoke again under a cold, grey brooding sky that gave no promise of better days. The tree’s remained leafless and colorless with no indication of the possibility of ever bearing fruit again. Birds chose to stay flightless and clung to branches with no motivation to soar free in flight,they’re enthusiasm dampened by the foreboding elements around them. The rains continued for days and pelted the landscape saturating the very grounds we chose to walk on. The chill that was in your bones was the same chill that was there two weeks ago as it was six weeks ago. We looked skyward in anticipation of a promise we were given of his yearly return. And still there was no sign of “The One” that everyone was anxiously anticipating the arrival of.

Ice And Snow
Hope had given way to frustration and helplessness was the coat that covered our once indomitable spirit. For the heavy rains were only the next scourge that followed the impossible amounts of snow that held us captive prisoners in our homes. We watched as the skies opened and blanketed our roads,our walkways,our energies. When the snows lessened the god of elements bestowed upon us another great affliction….The Ice Age. At first it came as a small,inconspicuous visitor just barely tapping on our doors and announcing his presence. Then nigh-time came and the following morning no longer gave us faint glimpse of the glacial prison we were sentenced to. It was everywhere! It crystallized trees,encapsulated telephone lines and held us immobile and isolated. Again, the “Great Hope” was no where to be found and in fact seemed further away than ever.

The Winds
The winds blew into town like an unwelcome guest without a reservation. They heaved and gusted,flexing they’re considerable muscle in an apparent attempt to inflict humility. Spewing cold torrents of air, it stripped us of our comfort levels and exposed us for who we were. We were cold,we were damp,we were barren. It swirled about us,whistling loudly and pushing us around like the playground bully once did. It conjured up one final blast of air stream sending lesser adversaries hurling out of the way and challenging our resolve. In that moment when we could have blinked at the sign of adversity we never faltered. We faced bravado and persevered. We dreamed of that feeling again and stayed patient for his return. We kept ourselves going by remembering how good it was when we last felt “His Presence”.

The Rains
Then slowly after what seemed like we endured the Jurassic Era it happened. The glaciers moved away. The stalactites turned to water. The stalagmites dripped into oblivion. The icicles melted into nothingness. Snowflakes transformed into liquid condensation before touching the ground. The hail which once flocked the house like a newChristmas ornament was reduced to a puddle. The solar ice caps grew weary of they’re location and left for the sea. The skies opened and water poured from the ever generous clouds. Rain was so tired of being water it tried to change occupations but it only knew how to be rain so it continued to descend. Suddenly, everything wanted to be water and so it was. Finally,there came word that we may be close to experiencing “The Feeling”.

El Sol
I rose from my chair because I thought I had heard it. Indeed the first harbinger of spring was flying through the air chirping loudly and spiritedly at anyone who would listen. The once bleak landscape had added color to it’s palette as blue and green met at the horizon under a crimson orange umbrella. He had returned as promised. Many of us gathered outside or wandered aimlessly so we could feel his comfort. “THE SUN” shone down on us stirring our soul and allowing us to put several weeks of darkness immediately behind us. We felt his warm embrace and realized we were moving with a purpose again. We made grandiose plans half of which we knew would never be realized. But,it didn’t matter. Everything felt better under “THE SUN”. Indeed,it had been a long,hard winter!

Robert J. Ottaviani (Bert) is a cusp born Aries the ram who has lived through summer of love in the late sixties and the hippie culture that bled into the seventies. He has a passion for music, gardening and all things nature … and laffy taffy. He is freakishly aware of music trivia to absurd levels. Most days you can find him playing his guitar or jotting down lyrics. He was so impacted from the moment he first heard the Beatles that he has Beatlemanianized his life, been to Liverpool, England and remains convinced he is the fifth Beatle. He is married to a gentle and lovely vibe of a woman with three wonderful children. He currently lives and resides in strawberry fields forever.

By Robert J. Ottaviani

“All aboard, Pittsburgh to New York this way please.”

The train guard stood tall and dapper dressed up in his navy blue uniform with cap while directing the boarding traffic. We rolled our baggage on the loading platform past several cars until we decided which car we wanted to enter. “Let me help you with those bags” he offered to those who struggled to lift their belongings up three steps to enter the train. Once inside we stored our bags overhead our seats, which were not designated and of our choice.

A Long Mind Wondering Journey
And so our 444 mile, nine-hour journey aboard the Pennsylvanian was about to begin. We depart “Penn Station” in Pittsburgh exactly at 7:10 a.m. as scheduled as the big wheels start to turn rolling us down the track. Clickety clack, clickety clack, clickety clack – the steel wheels sing against the steel rails. We are soon up to speed pouring past city neighborhoods and working our way through winding creeks at the foot of mountains and beautiful countryside. These scenic views become a staple of our trip as seemingly every time we look outside similar settings are to be enjoyed.
Inside the train we notice immediate comforts such as the extreme leg room with foot rests and leg rests. There’s also a button to release your seatback down to a tilt-back level, a drop down tray and a close by outlet to plug in your electronic goodies. None of these are state of the art concepts but rather well thought out ideas put in place years ago. Tickets are not checked upon boarding but rather a few miles up the track lending itself to the total laid back attitude. It’s as if you are taking a trip not to a city but to a time long ago when railways were a big part of American folklore.

Traveling Back in Time
It was easy to imagine being ambushed by the Butch Cassidy and the Wild Bunch or Jesse James and the James Gang, as we passed through some isolated terrain. Trains were much slower in the Wild West and cars were usually made of wood. These outlaws would ride up on horses eventually catching up with the train and unleash the designated car from the engine. A couple of sticks of dynamite later and all the gold and payroll was theirs for the taking. All that was left was the dust kicked up from their horses as they rode off and disappeared behind the rocks. My wife drew her double barreled derringer and I readied my Wyatt Earp revolver when we realized it was only some rider-less horses rustling in a nearby field. I pulled my renegade Dillinger hat back down over my eyes convinced we were safe for the moment and went back to dreaming.

A Quiet Ride
Whoot whoot, whoot, whoot the train horn delivered a deep drone of a warning that we were rambling across more countryside. On and on it went with an occasional whistle blown or bells clanged to signify specific communications and warnings. The one constant was a gentle humming sound of the train rolling along. I was pleasantly surprised at the overall quietness of the ride. All the sounds were in unison and never alarmingly loud or unsettling. We moved about the train whenever we wanted visiting the dining car for a drink and some lunch. We listened to a table of grizzled, experienced train riders swap stories of train travel, one eager to outdo the other. We made occasional stops where we could get out and stretch our legs a short while. We read, we listened to music, we slept, we scoured the Internet on our Netbook, and we re-connected with each other because we had the time.

We pulled into New York Penn Station exiting the Pennsylvanian number 42 right on schedule at 5:20 p.m. We grabbed our baggage at our leisure and listened as further assistance was offered to those who needed it. The ride was totally devoid of angst and worry and the nine hour venture hardly seemed that long. I’ve had work shifts that seemed excruciatingly longer. If it seems like I’m romanticizing the train experience in part I am but only because of my contempt for the alternative. Air travel!

Flying the Unfriendly Skies
I loathe it! From the time we book our flight I’m a mess. I just don’t like the experience. Arrive several hours early. WAIT, take your shoes off, WAIT, and pass your bags through, WAIT. “You’ve been chosen by said airline for special attention, move over to the side for a pat down and WAIT”. “Okay you can proceed to your gate now and WAIT”.”Attention, we are seating rows d through f now” like its some big privilege for me. It’s certainly not “all aboard”, is it? So I enter the big tin cigar holder, find my seat and realize my knees are holding up my chin because there’s no room. My drop down tray also serves as my napkin as it literally sits on my lap. And now for something different … I get to WAIT for clearance for take-off. The stale unvented air has me considering pulling down the oxygen mask and I haven’t left the ground yet. We are finally airborne and I have to use the facilities but WAIT the light is on meaning I have to stay in my seat. Well, at least I get some lunch, oh no you say you just have peanuts and juice. There’s no calming humming noise, no gentle whistles, no soothing horns but a rather disturbing rattling sound from the cabin, which sounds like it’s going to split the aircraft in half. Well at least I have turbulence to look forward to, there’s nothing like that dropped out of the sky feeling. And to think I get to repeat the process when I return including the WAIT for the luggage and hope it’s on my flight. I’m starting to think all of the missing luggage has boarded a train as I would have given the chance. You must admit arriving on the 909 at midnight pulling into the station is a far more romantic notion than having to catch the red eye because you were bumped due to overbooking! As soon as I figure out how to get a train through water I’m leaving the friendly skies forever!

Robert J. Ottaviani (Bert) is a cusp born Aries the ram who has lived through summer of love in the late sixties and the hippie culture that bled into the seventies. He has a passion for music, gardening and all things nature … and laffy taffy. He is freakishly aware of music trivia to absurd levels. Most days you can find him playing his guitar or jotting down lyrics. He was so impacted from the moment he first heard the Beatles that he has Beatlemanianized his life, been to Liverpool, England and remains convinced he is the fifth Beatle. He is married to a gentle and lovely vibe of a woman with three wonderful children. He currently lives and resides in strawberry fields forever.

By Jim Shields

Do you enjoy hiking, camping and exploring some of nature’s most precious gifts? Even if you are not a hard core rock climber or class IV kayaker you will always face risk when stepping off of the sidewalk or sand and onto the trail. So naturally when making the decision to get out into the wild there are certain risks and precautions that we must all think about. On May 15 and 16 there will be a 2 day course held at the Silver Lake Nature Center in Bristol, PA for anyone interested in becoming certified in Wilderness First Aid. This course is being taught by Wilderness Medicine Institute instructor and Director of Bloomsburg University’s QUEST outdoor program, Brett Simpson. Over two days you will learn in the classroom and practice simulations outside of the classroom. Students will learn how to help themselves and help provide wilderness first aid to others that are in need. Everything from sprained ankles, to bee stinks, to treating hypothermia will be covered and much more. If you are interested in attending this class please read the registration and pricing information below.


Wilderness First Aid Course with Wilderness Medicine Institute (WMI) of the National Outdoor Leadership School (NOLS)

DATES AND COST: Our next WFA will be May 15-16, 2010. The Cost is $175 for participants till April 10th. $185 after April 10th. You can also receive $10 off for each person you get to register for the course.

LOCATION: Silver Lake Nature Center, Bristol PA.

REGISTRATION: You must pre-register for this course. To register contact the instructor, Brett Simpson at (570) 854-4095 or e-mail bsimpson@bloomu.edu.

COURSE DESCRIPTION: The WMI of NOLS WFA/WFR Recertification course is an introductory level course designed to provide outdoor leaders, guides and rangers an introduction to First Aid and patient care in remote settings. Special topics include, but are not limited to: wound management and infection, realigning fractures and dislocations, improvised splinting techniques, patient monitoring and long-term management problems, plus up-to-date information on environmental emergencies. Emphasis is placed on principles of treatment and decision making, not the memorization of lists.

Upon successful completion of the course a two year WMI of NOLS Wilderness First Aid certification will be issued. All levels of training and experience are welcome. This course does not include
CPR.

WFR RECERTIFICATION REQUIREMENTS: In order to recertify Wilderness First Responder through this WFA course, WFR Recertification students will be required to successfully pass a practical exam. Students must have a current WFR certification from WMI, SOLO, NOLS, WMA or WPT. Students are required to submit a photocopy of WFR certification cards on the first day of the course (Bring a copy with you as there is not a copier available at the course). There is a one-year grace period for recertification of WMI cards. (Keep in mind that you are not current during this grace period and therefore cannot work as a Wilderness First Responder.) Please check your WFR certification closely; WMI will not recertify cards from organizations other than those listed.

REGISTRATION/POLICIES: Tuition payment in full is required to reserve your spot in the course. Tuition is non-transferable. Tuition is payable by check (with driver’s license number), money order, cash or PayPal (with a small transaction fee). The tuition fee covers textbooks, syllabus, equipment and certification cards. A full refund will be given if we are forced to cancel the course for any reason.

CANCELLATION AND REFUND POLICY: There is a non-refundable deposit equal to the amount of the course tuition needed to register for the course. .
If you notify the Instructor of your cancellation after the full payment has been received you will be refunded as follows: If cancellation notice is received not less than five weeks prior to the course, you will receive 75% of the balance due after the deposit.

For cancellations received not less than four weeks prior to the course will be a 50% refund of the balance due after the deposit. There will be no refund for cancellations received less than four weeks prior to course. If you can find a replacement for your spot we would accept that.

NO PETS PLEASE: Pets are not allowed at the teaching site, this includes leashing them outside. No exceptions. Any student bringing pets to class will be asked to leave class until the pet is safely situated in a kennel or other facility.

NO SMOKING OR ALCOHOL IS ALLOWED ON SITE

CLASS FORMAT/ EQUIPMENT: Check in is at 7:45 AM on the first day of the course. Course days run from 8:00am to 5:00pm. The format for the WFA/WFR Recertification is classroom lectures integrated with practical scenarios. Scenarios, and practice sessions will take place both inside and outside. Please bring outdoor clothing appropriate for lying on the potentially wet, muddy or snowy, cold ground playing the role of both rescuer and patient. Frequently stage (moulage) blood and make-up will be used to emphasize the reality of a scenario. Generally the classroom environment lends itself to a pair of comfy shoes/slipper and a crazy creek-type chair. Please come equipped with a light day pack, waterproof top and bottom, light hiking boots, and layers well suited for spending time outside playing the role of patient and rescuer.

Essential Tips for Planning Your Ski Vacation

By Brianna Dean

Although the 2009/2010 ski season is halfway over, many would agree that the best skiing is still to come. In addition to a great workout, skiing and snowboarding is a excellent way to share unforgettable experiences with family and friends.

It is not too late to book a trip to a ski resort to take advantage of the numerous events and attractions that the mountain towns have to offer.

Spring Break is typically associated with white sand and tropical drinks, but those who seek a more unique getaway flock to the mountains and trade in their sandals for ski boots. Still, don’t forget to pack your bikini and board shorts so you can relax in the hot tub after a long day on the slopes.

Never planned a ski vacation before? No worries. Working at a ski shop in the Mountains of Colorado has given me hands-on experience with frustrated first-timers. The frequent phrase repeated by most travelers is, “Help, I’ve never done this before”. Don’t worry, I am here to help. Below are tips I have gathered in order to ease the stress and confusion while trying to enjoy your ski vacation.

1) RESERVE AND CONSERVE…STRESS

You may think that a ski town’s most available item are ski rental packages, and that waiting till you arrive won’t be a problem to attain. Well, think again. Although there are typically a plethora of ski shops in most mountain towns, waiting until the last minute to walk in for rentals will leave you waiting…and skiing less. I highly recommend making your reservation in advance so your rental package is guaranteed to be ready to go upon arrival. Most places will require a small deposit for insurance (that will go towards your balance) and 24 hours notice so they can prepare your package. Some places, like Christy Sports, even offer a discount for advance reservations. Save yourself the hassle of a walk-in and reserve today.

With rising baggage costs, renting skis may be even less expensive than paying to fly your equipment across the country. Plus, you will most likely get to slide on some newer, more advanced skis than the pair that’s been collecting dust in your garage.

2) WHO’S WEARING WHAT?

Skiing and snowboarding gear has become increasingly stylish over the past few years, but warmth and protection should be your main focus. I’ve been asked over and over again what the temperature will be like on the slopes. There is no simple answer to this question as the conditions on the mountain are constantly changing. Preparation is key. Since weather is as unpredictable as the Dow Jones these days, I recommend the following gear:

Start at the bottom: Always wear a base layer like Smartwool or Patagonia under your ski clothing. Wear both leggings or tights and a wicking shirt for full-body warmth below your outerwear. Thick socks made for skiing are a must. There is nothing worse than frigid toes after riding the lift to the wind-crested mountain top.

Work your way up: Wear water resistant pants and a coat with a warm liner in case of a potential powder day. Knitted gloves? Don’t even think about it. You’re asking for frost-bitten fingers if you select those. Choose high-quality gloves or mittens. If you have poor blood circulation, like me, I would recommend mittens (they will keep your fingers close together to create more body heat to keep the blood flowing).

Top it off: Find a good material to hug your neck. A Turtle Fur Neck Gaitor is basically the “neck” part of a turtleneck. These can be purchased at most sports equipment stores and can be pulled over your mouth and chin to block the wind when you are racing downhill. Some people use a scarf, others use a handkerchief; just be sure to bring something to protect you neck and throat from the piercing wind.

Goggles are just as important as your coat and pants. They protect your eyes from sun, snow, and wind.

Helmets are optional yet advised. They provide both safety, warmth, and some (like Red’s Hi-Fi Audio model) feature built in speakers so you can rock out on your way down the hill. If you plan on packing in all of your extreme skiing into a 3 day weekend, just remember that even Johnny Knoxville wears a helmet in most of his stunts. It’s not worth adding yourself to the number of head-injuries that occur every year out on the slopes.

Last but not least, suncreeen with SPF 15 or higher is definitely needed to fend off the intense, high-elevation rays. A goggle tan may look wicked-awesome when you come back from your vacation, but serious sun exposure on the slopes can damage your skin just as bad as a hot summer day.

3) CHECK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELF

Altitude sickness can hit without warning. Entering a higher elevation should be gradual, but for visitors it’s understood there just isn’t enough time. The best advice is to listen to your body’s warning signs when you arrive. Thirsty? Drink more water (yes, water) than you think you need. The air is dryer up there and not as rich is oxygen and will dehydrate you faster than normal. Bring a water bottle on your trip and fill it up at an airport water fountain, or spend the extra dollar on an Aquafina.

Getting drunk faster than usual? Take your drinks with ease your first night there, alcohol will hit you harder at high elevations, make you feel worse in the morning, and amplify the symptoms of altitude sickness. Drink slowly and moderately until you know how your body will react to the new altitude.

Tired? Take a short nap. Exhausting your body won’t get you to the slopes any faster. In fact, it may ruin your trip or endanger you while on the mountain.

Click here to learn more about acute altitude sickness.

Hopefully these small tips will help you with your travels. I know just as well as all the other mountain dwellers that tourism keeps our resorts open and functioning. It is wonderful to see happy tourists enjoying themselves on Colorado’s slopes. Follow these tips and you will be sure to have a warm, safe, and happy ski vacation.

Colorado Ski Resources

Visit Colorado Ski Country USA for more information about skiing and snowboarding in Colorado.

To reserve ski and snowboard rentals online, click on Christy Sports or call 877-754-7627.

Click here order the Colorado Official State Vacation Guide.

Brianna Dean is an outdoor enthusiast with a passion for skiing. She grew up in Southern California and frequently moved as a child until she and her family settled in Kansas, much to her dismay. Feeling trapped and unfulfilled in a comfortable, mundane life, she packed up and moved to Colorado. Although she now calls Denver home, Brianna is currently spending the winter at the base of a mountain while working for a ski company. She enjoys biking, hiking, rock climbing, camping, and playing with her dog, Pali (who is named after a ski lift at Arapahoe Basin). When not working you will find her mastering a 360 at the terrain park, cooking vegetarian dinners, or discussing epic powder days at a dive bar.


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From Goodwill to Whole Foods

by Melissa D. Calder

The Winter Holidays are wrapping up – a time of love, family, religion, and … shopping! Did I mention that I love shopping? Some questions flow with this admission of guilt. Does that mean I am a bad person? Can shopping prolong my life? Well … I actually think it can. The adrenaline rush I get from shopping can make my day. The endorphins rush through my hand into my wrist and up my arm via my neck to my brain and take me away to an excited happy land of Nirvana that tells me that I can possess a brand new item. Sometimes it is an item I have been searching for (maybe even for years), and I am thrilled to have finally found it. Sometimes it is an item that is on sale; (oh my, that word really makes the serotonin levels elevate). Occasionally it is an item that has beautiful packaging and I don’t need it at all but it is just too beautiful to pass up and it makes me feel so good.

There are two places of business in particular that the shopping fix is always guaranteed to be good. I enjoy shopping at both, however they can be completely different experiences for different reasons. One I would have to describe as a world of beautiful, symmetrical displays of sometimes overpriced but perfectly aligned arrangements of food. I call this the mighty land of Whole Foods.

The other has a particular smell that just reeks of cheap but unique authentic clothing. I like to go there for the bargains, the retro clothing, and unique one of a kind finds that are only in your size and usually the only one on the rack. This of course is Goodwill (a wonderful chain of thrift stores).

The two places are similar because I never feel the guilt that one might feel from buying a pair of expensive shoes or spending too much money on a trendy sweater, bag or jewelry. The reason I never feel guilty is because at Goodwill I am automatically saving money by buying recycled goods. Whole Foods is a grocery store, everyone needs to eat, and I truly believe that I make more healthy choices while shopping at this grocery store.
Plus, as I said before they both make me feel good. You can judge me either way on this one because I have heard both.

“You shop at Whole Foods that is way too expensive!”
“You Shop at the Goodwill, why would you want to own someone else’s old clothes?”

Go ahead and judge, but I know it is difficult for anyone to resist an organic apple that has just been freshly sprayed by the cute young man with a beard and a green apron.
So, a more important thought than judgment might be to analyze why we as human beings get this rush from shopping at specific places. I know there are others out there that enjoy these places just as much as I do, if not more. Some of you cynics may think of Goodwill as unsanitary because you are buying clothes that were once worn by someone else or you think that all the clothes at Goodwill are out of style. But perhaps, you just haven’t learned the patience to go searching for the pot of gold in a sea of polyester pants and gold plated belts.

Note: Don’t forget as well to take the time to give your purchases a good wash before wearing them.

The search for these items makes the shopping experience that much more of a rush. Picture yourself walking down aisle after aisle pushing and pulling the metal hangers away from an item that just might have potential. Some days the search through the “thrift store” is like a mild workout. You pushed yourself a bit, but don’t feel overextended. However, other days can be like running on the treadmill and at the end of your run is a black pencil skirt from Donna Karen. Oh yes, life is good. Did I forget to mention that the skirt was only 10 bucks? I can picture the outfit for New Years Eve now, the outfit will be cute and unique and no one needs to know that you purchased it at the “thrift store”; or you can gloat in the fact that you got a cute outfit for less! Shopping at Goodwill helps your wallet and you are supporting Goodwill’s philosophy of supplying job training to people will disabilities.

Just walking into Whole Foods makes me smile. I carry my recycled bag with pride. Look at me fellow shoppers: “I save the earth”! Gosh, that feels good. Not to mention that the canvas whole food bags are amazingly sturdy and can hold many pounds of groceries without breaking! Oh, there are the beautiful organic vegetables, they are so pretty and there are fruits here that I have never heard of before. I wonder if I will see any Top Chef contestants. I feel smart at Whole Foods because I can buy beans and granola. Yes, beans and granola make me feel smart. I stare at the wall of items you can buy in bulk and I pick and choose as much as I want of these items. I decide how much and how many. I don’t have to buy a particular 16 ounce bag that looks like the rest of the bags on the shelf. I can buy my own unique bag of blueberry granola. If I want it to be 16.2 ounces, well, then that is just fine. I continue to the dessert area grabbing a free sample of cheese on the way, another reason I love this place. The desserts are also aesthetically pleasing. They come in small portions. This makes me eat less and feel healthy. I want dessert, but I don’t want to have a whole pie or cake in my home. A perfect Tiramisu for two is just what I was looking for, oh delightful! The salad bar and soup bar are amazing. The choices of freshly prepared food are impressive and unique. Would you like bar-b-Q tofu or a more traditional choice of tomato soup? The choice is yours.

Shopping is not as dirty of a word as some might think. There are many stores out there that not only have the potential to appease the shopping adrenaline rush, but that also contribute a portion of the cost of your purchases to a greater cause. Goodwill Industries create over 10,000 jobs for people with special needs. They have also recently started an online store which creates additional employment. Whole Foods is an organic and natural grocery store that exemplifies “going green” and giving back to the community. A corporation that gives back rather than takes; what a brilliant idea!

So, go ahead and call me a granola loving, tree hugging, smart shopping hipster, because that is exactly what I want to be.

Melissa D. Calder, B.A, M.A.T, is an advocate for innovative education. She recently completed designing an art education book to be published and is busy searching out creativity in the small corners of the World. She is Busy Painting, Creating, Producing, Dreaming, Scheming, Relaxing, Socializing, Being, Critiquing, Judging, Contemplating, Wondering, Wishing, Playing, and Dancing. With her coffee, some music and a creative outlet she is happy.

Risking it all to find happiness

By Brianna Dean

Thanksgiving Day, 2009: I gazed out the window at the glare from snow-capped mountains and thought to myself, “Wow, it’s a great day to ski”. While sipping coffee, I threw on my usual ski gear and grabbed the twin-tip’s for a nice day of carving powder. The ride up the gondola to the base of Breckenridge Mountain was quieter than usual, but it didn’t seem to bother me. The view was remarkable. I adjusted my goggles and couldn’t think of a place I’d rather be at that moment. Let me take you back a few years…

Early April, 2007: It was a gloomy Sunday evening in Kansas City, Missouri and I had just walked in the door from my typical grocery store purchase: water, turkey, bread, saltine crackers, and a bottle of Pinot Grigio. The sun set behind overcast skies accentuating the already dreary day. After putting away the groceries I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. It was 6:00pm. I had no roommate to converse with, no cable to fall asleep to. I could hear the clock ticking. Every tick was another wasted moment. It was almost time to crack open the wine and drink myself into a slumber.

I was dreading work the next day. 8 hours of staring out my office window toward the West hoping that if I tried hard enough, I would eventually see what I knew was on the other side of the Flint Hills of Kansas. On the other side sat the Rocky Mountains, the Grand Canyon, the San Marcos Mountains…even the beautiful Pacific Ocean that I once took advantage of while growing up in Southern California. I knew it was all there. So why wasn’t I? Why do I only visit these places and not live there, I thought? Why do I still live in a city that leaves me depressed and uncomfortable? What am I still doing here?

My mind started to wander and soon I found myself flooded with thoughts. I was mentally beating myself up for not making the proper changes in order to be happy. I was obviously depressed. Every Sunday was the same, every day of work was the same, every evening, morning, and minute was the same: lonely and repetitive. I started to feel anxiety take over when I asked myself one final question: “Am I so comfortable that I will do this the rest of my life?”. Tears started to flow.

I mustered up the guts to call a friend. I needed company and something to occupy my mind so that it wouldn’t consume me. I arrived at their house, still riddled with anxiety. My stomach was in knots, eyes were darting, and I was sweating more than I should have been. My mind wouldn’t shut up. “Are you going to spend the rest of your life here?” My breaths were deep but seemed to lack oxygen. I became dizzy and adrenaline shot through my veins like someone had drugged me. My friend asked “Are you okay? You look a little nerve-wrecked”. All of a sudden I felt extremely uncomfortable. I couldn’t drag my friend in this. I immediately grabbed my things and left the house. I couldn’t ask for shelter from my own thoughts. I was a ticking time bomb of self-mutilated emotion that was about to blow. Where was I to go if I couldn’t go to my friends?

Mostly cloudy mind with a chance of anxiety storms

I could feel my body start to break down as I ran to my car. An overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety took over as I drove myself to the only place of safety I could think of: the Emergency Room. By the time I ran through the double glass doors of the hospital my face was as red as a fire extinguisher and the knots in my stomach were tearing up my insides. The doctors could hear the difficulty in my breathing and took me to the back right away. I woke up 20 minutes later laying in a hospital bed with an IV stuck in my right arm. Unaccompanied in a curtained room, I heard only the voices of nurses fluttering by. There I was, alone again. Unsure what they gave me, the doctors released me after handing me various prescriptions for anxiety.

It was about 2:00am when I got home, my eyes were red and puffy and I climbed into my bed. Was this going to happen again next Sunday?

Monday Morning: I slipped into my office without anyone noticing and kept my sunglasses on so that no one would see my severely swollen eyes. I knew I couldn’t hide it for long. My boss peeked his head in and said, “Hey, ding-dong, take your sunglasses off. You look ridiculous”. I pulled them off and tried desperately not to look up, but it wasn’t enough to keep my boss quiet. 

As soon as he asked the dreaded question, “What’s wrong?”, I verbally blasted every thought that was on my mind at that moment. My god, I had no idea how depressed I was until it all started to pour out. My boss just stared at me, shocked. He phoned in the President and the three of us discussed my situation for almost 2 hours. My employers were like family and wanted me to be happy. The President announced he would give me 3 months pay up front to go and find happiness. The catch? I couldn’t come back. I’ll never forget the words from my boss that day. He said, “Brianna, you gotta go find what makes you happy because it’s obviously not here. Go to France! Maybe that makes you happy. You won’t know what it is until you go find it”.

I was given the afternoon off and went back the next day to get my big, generous check. What to do now? I drove home and stared at the ceiling again. What do you do when someone gives you time and money, the two things that no one ever has? I had no idea. I spent the afternoon at a coffee shop looking at job listings in Kansas City. It hadn’t hit me yet. I wandered in to a book store and found a spiral-bound book of driving maps for the United States. Suddenly it hit me. I bought the book and ran out of the store. I realized that I was given time, and I didn’t want to waste it. My money would run out eventually and I didn’t want to blow it staying where I started. I then went over to a sports equipment store and bought an expensive backpack. I didn’t know what the hell for, but I needed it. I planned to fill the backpack with some essentials and explore in search of enlightenment. 

The next week was spent planning amazing trips! I contacted friends in other states and reserved couches and spare beds. My sister was planning out her internship in Kansas City and offered to pay my rent while I was away in exchange for use of my apartment. Everything was falling into place. Over the next few months I ventured off to Chicago, St. Louis, Colorado Springs, Phoenix, Denver, Los Angeles and Santa Monica. Every day was spent exploring and seeking what excited me. I started to realize my flexibility: I was not on a lease, I had no boyfriend, no pets, no job. Now was the time to change things!

Denver Skyline - Grass Is Always Greener

Denver won my heart after spending a few days with some friends downtown. I headed back to Kansas City and applied for jobs near the Rocky Mountains. I was still on a rush of excitement that I was really going to change things. I got a phone call from a potential employer in Denver and asked if I could come in for an interview that Thursday. I panicked a little thinking that a last minute plane ticket would affect my funds so I decided to drive out for the interview instead. It was a time consuming and expensive risk that I was willing to take. Sure enough, that Wednesday night I drove 8 hours to get to Denver for that fateful interview. He offered me the job on the spot. I accepted.

I anxiously boxed up my belonging and moved with great anticipation of starting fresh in Colorado. I’ve been living happily in Denver for almost three years now. My anxiety quickly disappeared and a sense of calmness has came over me. I’m finally in a place I can call home, found new activities that I love, and have met friends that will last a lifetime. I look back on my situation years ago and wonder what would have happened to me had I not listened to my own warning signs (and my boss’s advice).

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

I have found that this proverb is often spoken to make people think that, in reality, other circumstances are often not as desirable as they may appear. People who are afraid of change try to discourage others from changing by explaining that the grass is not greener; it’s the same dull grass. Maybe they are comfortable and like their grass just the way it is. I am happy for those that can be content in any situation. I am, however, not one of those people. The point is, I don’t want to live my life trusting that all the grass in the world is the same color. I want to experience it myself. Maybe the grass is the same color, but what if the other side of the fence has grass covered in snow, or kittens chasing bugs, or a beautiful pond surrounded by wildflowers. Despite what people say, you may never know until you jump the fence.

Brianna Dean is an outdoor enthusiast with a passion for skiing. She grew up in Southern California and frequently moved as a child until she and her family settled in Kansas, much to her dismay. Feeling trapped and unfulfilled in a comfortable, mundane life, she packed up and moved to Colorado. Although she now calls Denver home, Brianna is currently spending the winter at the base of a mountain while working for a ski company. She enjoys biking, hiking, rock climbing, camping, and playing with her dog, Pali (who is named after a ski lift at Arapahoe Basin). When not working you will find her mastering a 360 at the terrain park, cooking vegetarian dinners, or discussing epic powder days at a dive bar.

By Chris Mc Loone

Lessons Learned While Slaying Dragons With My Son

I’ve found that walks in the woods provide me with more knowledge of dragons than I ever thought possible. Today, as my son Owen and I made our way through his favorite woods, he discovered a rusted caulk gun. He asked me what it was, and I told him, and followed it up with my attempt at an explanation of what it was and how it works, and I failed at it. Turns out I’m not a very good explainer. It kind of bothers me at times, especially when he asks me what words mean. He stumps me every time, and they are simple words. I guess I’ll just live with not being a good explainer at the moment. Maybe I’ll lead by example or something.

So we’re walking through the woods and Owen’s got a hold of the caulk gun, and, to him, it’s treasure. And you never know when you might need something like a caulk gun to take care of some serious business—like finishing off a dragon.

We found the dragon, disguised as a fallen, rotten tree, in the middle of the woods. Owen saw through the disguise immediately and began gutting the dragon straight away. He made quick work of it all with his newfound caulk gun. It’s astounding how handy a caulk gun can be when you’re finishing off a dragon. Now, I’ve fought dragons in the woods with Owen before. The last one was already dead, and I did not know I was reslaying an already slain dragon. Today though, when I told him I thought the dragon was already dead, he exclaimed, “Dragons don’t die unless you take them apart.” And take this one apart he did. At one point he told me he found the dragon’s heart. He took it out and showed it to me. He also found its brain. “Hard as a rock,” he reported. Then he found another heart later. I told him he had already found one, but he informed me this particular dead dragon disguised as a fallen, rotten tree that really wasn’t dead yet since it was in one piece has two hearts. “You touched them with your bare hands,” I said. “That’s gross.” Owen looked up at me, a little winded from all the hard work of disemboweling a dragon with a rusted caulk gun and said, “I’m a man. I have to be gross.” I had no idea grossology was part of manhood. The things you’ll learn in the woods slaying dragons that are not dead yet since they are still in one piece, disguised as fallen, rotten trees.

Dragons from memories past.

I went to my high school recently, for an alumni day celebration. I went to a seminary for high school, and I lived away from home, and it was probably, short of getting married and becoming a father, the richest experience of my life. It has nothing to do with seminary studies or God or anything. I’ve often thought that when I finally sit down and write a story, it’s going to be about St. Joe’s. I don’t think anything has impacted my life the way it has. The memories I have of the place are clear and many. I saw people I have not seen in many, many years yesterday, and as cliché as it sounds, it was as if not a day had gone by. Sure, there was catching up to do, but there was no loss for words like you have so many times with people you’ve not seen in years. It’s the bond we all have from that place. We slept in dormitories of 40 beds and lockers. So, basically we slept together, we ate together, we took classes, and we got into mischief together. It’s an odd bond that I can’t quite explain, but even the men who traveled to Princeton who weren’t from my era shared that bond with me, though theirs was more from a bygone era.

I got to show my kids that place yesterday. But it wasn’t the same place. One wing (we referred to it as “the other side…” but really, “the other side” meant the opposite side of wherever you were) was completely closed off. They could have unlocked it for us, just so we could wander around. It’s not like we’re going to steal anything. The student lounge, once one large room has been made into two. The senior study hall, the size of the student lounge, also has been divided into two rooms. The dining room (or refectory) has the same smell. The same exact smell, and it’s 18 years later for me. The vestibules also, the same smells, and indeed, the gym (which we sneaked into) smelled exactly the same. I showed my wife the gouge in the floor in front of the foul line I used to use to set myself up for foul shots. I’m not quite sure what I did when we switched ends of the court or went to away games. I suppose my free throw percentage went into the toilet at those times.

When you return to a place that has a special place in your heart the way St. Joe’s does for me, it takes you back to a different time. It was a simpler time for me, and I long for it.

Believe me there’s a point to all this, and I do plan to get to it soon, but one more anecdote if you’ll indulge me.

Dragons from friendships past.

I am a volunteer fireman. I’m supposed to say firefighter, but I’m a fireman. In any event, for the past five years I’ve been a Lieutenant, holding two separate positions–2nd Lt., and 1st Lt. This year I’ve been nominated for captain (this is a volunteer fire company, and officers are nominated and elected) and I was nominated to run against my friend. Well, I suppose he’s a friend. He was a mentor to me very early in my career as a vollie. He was in my wedding. I would say that in recent years, as he moved up through the ranks, eventually to assistant chief, we have grown apart as firefighters, which has stressed our friendship. We rarely see eye to eye on policies, procedures, etc. Originally I told Wally I would not run against him for captain. I figured I wasn’t going to run against my friend, and while I disagreed with his moving down from assistant chief to captain, thus not allowing me to move up to captain from lieutenant, I thought was a nice gesture to let him ride out his time as he saw fit.

But then quite honestly, he did several things which made me reconsider that notion, and ultimately, my feeling is the crew would like a choice and so I told him I was going to run for captain, he got up and walked away without a word, save for “OK,” and proceeded to call me a hypocrite via his Facebook status and then defriended me—for real. Seriously, we’re adults.

I suppose I knew this was coming for quite some time, given his personality.

So what is the tie-in? Let me take a sip of my PBR and I promise to get to it.

We all have dragons, whether they are our pasts creeping up on us from time to time to remind us how easy things were or difficult decisions today that remind us just how hard things get as we all get older. I’m a Roman Catholic, which is not exactly a popular thing to be these days given the abuse scandals, and today I was at Church. I don’t pretend to be particularly religious or spiritual, even with my seminary background, but at Church today, the homilist said to the congregation to be grateful for today, because tomorrow, you can’t get today back.

“Be grateful for today, because tomorrow, you can’t get today back.”

Kill your dragons. We all have them. And make sure they are dead. Because a dragon’s not dead until you take it apart. It’s amazing how a dragon can creep up on you after you thought you slayed it. I know I sit there and think, “Damn, I’m sure I killed it. I know I did. It was dead.” Be a man and be gross—kill the dragon. Because when you don’t take the dragons apart, you end up losing days upon days when they creep up, making it impossible for you to be grateful for today.

So I’m going to wake up tomorrow, and, although a 16 year friendship appears to be in the toilet, I’m going to be grateful for it. Why? Well, because I’m a hypochondriac and any day I wake up is a bonus for me.

Getting Rid of all the Excess Junk

By Janel Pfluger

It’s that time of year. Time for the big purge, or the purge before the binge, as I like to think of it. Soon I will be gorging myself on turkey and all the trimmings, and giving my credit cards a workout in attempt to find just the right Christmas gift for my loved ones. But before I indulge it’s time to pare my life down a little. Over the course of a year, I seem to accumulate a lot of “stuff.” My stuff starts to overwhelm me a bit as I try to find places to put it all. When I start to feel anxiety over where I should put all this stuff, I know it’s time to get rid of some of it.

That Time Of The Year

It begins with clothes. Every year, when it is time to put away the summer digs (sigh) and take out the winter gear, I make a point of carefully pruning my wardrobe. If I haven’t worn it for a year, or forgot I even owned it, chances are I don’t love it. In the donation pile it goes. Now for me, this can get hairy. What about that sweater that my aunt gave me for last Christmas? I didn’t have the heart to tell her I didn’t like it, and she never includes a gift receipt, but can I really get rid of clothes that still have the tags on them? The answer is yes, yes I can. All it is doing in my closet is taking up space, when it could be keeping someone warm.

Learning To Let Go

But then what about the pair of jeans that I absolutely love, but have a huge hole in the butt. A huge, non-sewable, not looking like the ripped-on-purpose-jeans, kind of hole. Do I have to get rid of them? Yup, I do. They aren’t doing my back end any favors. Into the trash pile.

Okay, now here’s the hard part that every self respecting lady (and some of you guys too) must learn to do. See that dress (or shirt/pants) that is two sizes smaller than your current size? The one that made you look like a movie star when you were thin enough to wear it? Gently pluck it from your closet of clothes you can actually fit into and drop it into the donation pile. Time to let some other hottie look like a movie star. Eh-eh, no second thoughts. Put it back down. Think of it this way, if you ever do lose weight and get back to that size, you can reward yourself by going shopping for a new favorite dress. Repeat this process with all the other clothes in your wardrobe that do not fit you anymore. Well, okay, you can keep one thing, your skinny jeans. But just for motivation. And only if you really have to, I mean don’t you look pretty fabulous just the way you are?

Room For The New

Now when this is all done, my closet will only consist of the clothes that I actually wear, like, and look good on me. There will be room in it for gifts I may get for Christmas, and for the occasional new item. When I am done bagging up the clothes that I will take to Good Will, I feel satisfied and relieved (once that dress is out of my sight). My closet is neat and organized and I can feel good about donating some decent clothing to charity.

Seeking Out The Junk

Then it’s on to the other stuff: the junk drawer, the bookshelf, the filing cabinet, my drawer full of cosmetics and hair and skin care products. The general rule is if I don’t use it or I don’t need it (in the true sense of the word need), then I get rid of it. Of course there are exceptions. There are pictures that I don’t look at often, but I treasure and do not want to part with. There are back issues of magazines that I haven’t gotten to yet, but will. There are some exceptions I will allow myself, but not many. It’s amazing how freeing it feels to do this every year. Because the truth is, I really don’t need all these things to be happy. In fact, very few of them really make me happy.

The Calm of Clean

After I have gotten rid of all the things that were just taking up space, I feel calmer. When I look around my home, all of the things that are left are things that I truly want, not things that I just have. Of course, it won’t stay this way. Over the course of the next year, I will accumulate more stuff that I don’t need and find myself doing the same thing again next year. But such is life; it’s cyclical. And there are much worse problems to be had.

Janel Pfluger is a writer, career coach, college instructor, and bartender, among other things. She is looking forward to receiving a Master of Arts in English degree in January of 2010, and finally being able to read whatever she wants. Janel enjoys reading, writing, the beach, photography, travel, family, good friends, good beer, good times. She has a passion for words, but cannot stand the words: moist, slacks (as in trousers), and panties. She also thinks everyone should go skydiving at least once in their lives.

Free Advice From The Art World

By Melissa D. Calder

You are stressed out.You are feeling down.You need an outlet but … you don’t have the extra cash to take a vacation let alone spend $12 on a yoga class, $80 on a massage, or a $100 new clothing shopping spree that may just maybe make you feel better. You need help. You want to feel better. You want to make your problems go away even if just for a few hours.

Disclaimer: This article is not for people that need real therapy and have deep dark issues that will take years to get through.

However, this article is for people having a bad day, a bad week, a bad month or even a couple of months.

Next time that you are feeling blue, try this solution:






Create ART

It doesn’t matter …

a) What project you tackle
b) What it looks like
c) What the outcome will be
d) How long you spend planning it
e) Or what materials you use.

Sketch It Out
It can be as simple as picking up a pencil and some paper and writing down or sketching out your feelings.

For Your Eyes Only
Take the pressure off of yourself by remembering that the key is to make the art without concern for what it looks like. If you think you can’t draw, you actually probably can with just a little bit of practice. Plus, who cares if you can’t, no one has to see your artwork, it is for you and only you.

Mosaics
If you don’t want to attempt drawings then try something more kinesthetic such as mosaic art. Take those old ceramic dishes that you don’t use anymore and break them. You do not need tools. You can just place them in trash bags and throw them off your back deck or toss them from a high window.

Disclaimer: be sure to take proper safety precautions and keep children and other people out of the area below before doing this.

You don’t have to make a pretty mosaic, it doesn’t have to make sense. No mosaic flower pots or mirrors here. Mosaic your trash-can, mosaic part of the sidewalk. You will need some sort of adhesive but you may just have some cement or strong glue in your garage or junk drawer. If you don’t have glue or you do not want to spend the money on glue then just take those ceramic pieces and place them in interesting ways. Does the broken blue ceramic look cool next to the green one or the pink one? It is questions like these that will take your mind to another place and help take your focus off your problem.

Mix It Up
Another idea is to take tools from the garage such as blue painters tape or electrical tape and rip it into pieces and place them in interesting designs all over a piece of paper, a piece of old wood, or an old mirror.

Organic Nature Sculptures
If you have a backyard or a park near your home then, venture out. Look at the leaves, look at the sticks, find interesting materials and use them in an organic nature sculpture. You don’t always have to be able to take art with you to get satisfaction out of it. It can be whatever you want … Line sticks up in an interesting pattern and leave it there in the park. Take a picture of it with your camera or just a mental picture in your mind. If anything maybe you will confuse some pedestrians that may just walk by and observe in wonder.

Painting
If you don’t have paint or paintbrushes and you would like to try painting, use food coloring as your ink. You can express yourself simply by using utensils such as forks and knives along with food coloring and shaving cream or whipped cream. You add the food coloring to the cream and create an abstract design with your fork and knife. You can transfer the design onto paper or simply take a picture of your creation and then wash it away with water.

Finding Your Subject With Music
So you don’t know what to paint? Try putting your favorite song on and listen to it over and over again. Maybe you just broke up with your boyfriend, and want to put on the best “boy hating song” and paint your heart out. Music has a tendency to provoke feelings. Think about when you are driving in your car or walking down the street listening to your ipod on shuffle and then all of a sudden a song you haven’t heard in maybe 6 months or even a year starts to play, you love it, you forgot how much you loved it, you forgot how it made you feel and most importantly you forget about what put you in this funk to begin with. Now, combine music with the power of creation and you are well on your way to smiles again.

Put the feeling that the music triggers on paper. Draw the colors you see while listening to it or the even include the lyrics in your sketch, painting, or whatever you decide to make.

Why It Works
Poof! You were just so engaged in the task at hand that you forgot about the boyfriend or girlfriend, the ex-boyfriend or girlfriend, the annoying boss, or the best friend that betrayed you. You were able to get those feelings out of your system. You can now look at the problem more clearly. Yes, the problem is not solved but you can go into solving it with a new attitude and a new outlook since you took time to express your frustrations and can move forward.

Of course if you want to forget about the fact that you even had a problem or a bad day then you can go ahead and destroy the work when you finish. You know like on Saved by the Bell when Kelly burned that love letter from Zack. You can also keep your artwork as a reminder of your strength, power, and dignity. You didn’t lose your cool, you expressed it in a beautiful way of that might just inspire others. Go forward and create!

Melissa D. Calder, BA, MAT, is an advocate for innovative education. She recently completed designing an art education book to be published and is busy searching out creativity in the small corners of the World. She is Busy Painting, Creating, Producing, Dreaming, Scheming, Relaxing, Socializing, Being, Critiquing, Judging, Contemplating, Wondering, Wishing, Playing, and Dancing. With her coffee, some music and a creative outlet she is happy.