Learn How To Shave Like A Man … You Skirt

By David Yancy Kang

WARNING: This article for all intents and purposes concerns men and their shaving habits … women are welcome to read this and attempt the methods described, but ProLong Magazine or the author can NOT be held responsible for any injury or death that occurs from such an attempt. Furthermore, it’s a fucking razor blade. BE CAREFUL, for Christ’s sakes.

ALSO: Portions of this article contain verbatim excerpts from an email that are inserted without notation but with permission by the author.
Several months ago, I was at the mass-market emporium o’ shit (let’s call it the Targ-Mart), and found myself purchasing the standard toiletry items. These are the basic consumables that we all use in our daily lives to be considered fit for modern civilization – your deodorant, toothpaste, shampoo, soap, blah, blah, blah … and razor blades.

The ‘gold standard’ in razor manufacturing/marketing is the Gillette Mach 3 or some variation from any number of manufacturers, (actually only two come to mind) with anywhere from two to evidently several thousand blades. I single out the Mach 3 only because it was the type of razor that I personally use. The Mach 3 has become so ubiquitous that even the ‘high-end’ shaving firms like ‘Art of Shaving’ and all their variants sell handles that specifically fit blades for Gillette’s Mach 3.
Now, I will not tell you the price that I paid for a package of these because I can’t remember; but I will say that I was floored by the fact that the total for all of the other items was almost equal to the package of blades.

I’m not one to really get crazy about the price of anything … in fact, I’m completely used to getting hosed by the prices that I pay for almost any given item. I’m a constant victim of discovering a place that has the item in question equally readily available for far, far less, typically after I’ve opened and used to product to a degree that makes it impossible to return. To this, I typically respond with a shrug.
So, it is very unlike me to even mention it to anyone else, but I happened to be talking to a former co-worker of mine recently. The conversation entailed my outrage at the price of cartridge razor blades, and also my fondness for a scene of Mad Men where Don Draper is shaving with a crazy-looking contraption. Geoff (my former co-worker) had quite a bit to say on the topic.

Wet Shaving

Geoff, is a self-proclaimed wet shaving evangelist, and not only has converted me; but also has inspired me to spread the wet shaving gospel and thus has made a wet shaving evangelist out of me.
What is wet shaving? In the absolute most rudimentary form, wet shaving is shaving using only water, a blade, and some kind of lubricant.

How is this any different than what I was doing before with a Mach 3? Well … truth be told, there is no real difference other than the fact that these days, going out of your way to consider it ‘wet shaving’ points to the fact that you’re using a straight razor or a safety razor instead of a cartridge razor. Now I may be wrong about this, but all I know is what I know from experience and secondhand knowledge and what I learn from bad ass shows like Mad Men.

The Basics

Let’s cover the basics. First of all, you’re going to need a razor. If you’ve gone and purchased a Gillette or Schick razor, go ahead and stop reading this article and find something better to do. Otherwise, there are two other options to consider. First is the straight razor. We’re talking Mr. Blonde of Reservoir Dogs’ ear-removal razor in a cowboy boot. This is insane unless you’re some kind of surgeon. The sane option is a safety razor. Don’t be fooled by the name – it’s still a goddamned razor blade; it’s going to cut you. It’s a ‘safety razor’ in the sense that it is ‘safer than a straight razor’; in the same manner that pale ale is pale as compared to stout. But, I digress.

The Parker 96R Butterfly Safety Razor

If you know me, my hands shake like I’m being electrocuted when I attempt to hold them still, so it is a safety razor I opted for, and that is what this article is about, because it is what I have experience with. I typically do not write about things of which, I know nothing. So – first off: a handle for your razor. I use a Parker 96R Butterfly Safety Razor. You don’t have to get that one, but it seemed to be the best mix of quality and price. What you definitely want: double-edged safety razor, probably butterfly style, NOT ADJUSTABLE. I’d go with something from either Parker or Merkur. Merkurs are slightly better regarded than Parker, but Parker seems to be the best bang for the buck. This ran be about thirty bucks on amazon.com and it came with twenty – TWENTY blades.

Other Equipment

Next, you will need a brush and brush stand. These are not optional. I happened to already have a brush stand and brush as part of a shaving set that was given to me as a gift from my wife (what a shithead, not using the complete set from his wife, shame on him! I know. Shut up). It has to be badger hair, and you need a stand for the brush. It has to hang upside down so it dries out properly. Lots of stands also hold the razor, which is convenient but not strictly necessary. Why a badger hair brush? Truth is, I don’t know, but it has something to do with the magical properties of badger hair. Either that or a giant serpent smashes through your floor and consumes you if you use a non-badger brush. Look, if the use of badger hair were negligible, would one of the premier wet shaving sites on all of the Internet be called ‘Badger & Blade’? If this is a problem for you, know that the hair is harvested from badgers that are a food source in some countries and would otherwise be discarded. So deal with that or continue to float around on your cloud of judgment.

Lube, Not The Sex Kind

You’ll need soap, one of the key elements (lubricant) of wet shaving. I use 2.5 ounce Van Hagen glycerin soap. It’s as good as any fancy soap and it’s super cheap. It was about 10 dollars for a case of 12 pucks, which should presumably last about two years.

Holders For Soap

Bowl/mug: I don’t use one, but they make bowls and mugs for this purpose. They’re just holders for the soap, so any of them will work if you want one, but honestly, you don’t have to bother.

Blades

You’re perhaps wondering about the blades themselves … I’ve only used the Shark blades that came with the razor that I purchased. They work very well and are very inexpensive. We’re talking CHEAP. Real quick search on Amazon shows $16.99 for a pack of 100. ONE HUNDRED blades. Typical usage of a single blade is generally considered to be eight to nine shaves … unless you’re a hairy bastard in which case that might be cut in half. Bear in mind that these are double-edged blades though. The amount that I actually shave, I could probably use the same blade for a couple months. At any rate, one hundred of these fuckers for less than twenty bucks kicks the living crap out of a pack of Mach 3s for eight skillion clams.

Slap Happy

Aftershave is up to you. There’s an amazing Vitamin E balm that Art of Shaving makes that I like but is almost prohibitively expensive and I only have it because I received it as a gift. Most often, I use Nivea Sensitive Post-Shave Balm. Be wary of alcohol-based aftershaves. Here’s a good idea: scrape a layer of skin off my face and then drench it in caustic chemicals, sounds like a great time! Instead, you want a nice soothing balm that stops the irritation, and this stuff works great. Also, it’s available at drugstores, which is nice when you run out. Be advised that aftershave balm is not optional under any circumstances. If you don’t use it, your face will burn and huge swaths of it will be bright and red for hours after. Really attractive.

Check Out The Magic Of The Interwebs

How do you go about doing it? I would strongly advise that you go to badgerandblade.com and check out their technique. Basically, it works like this. Lather your face, then drop a hot (but not uncomfortable) towel over it. The longer you leave it on the better, and some people say five minutes or something, but I probably only do it for like forty-five seconds to one minute. Then rinse with hot water, re-later, and start. Oh, that first pass of the blade to your skin … as you feel the keenness of the blade cut down every single hair. Pure bliss. Make sure you rinse with hot water and re-lather again in between each pass, and rinse with cold at the end. You want to leave your face just a little bit damp when you apply the aftershave. Also, your face is going to look slick or greasy after you put the balm on, and you might think you’ve used too much, but that’s the right amount and your face will absorb it in ten minutes, so don’t wipe it off.

The whole process will take you some time at first – it’s important to remember what you are dealing with and be careful. Basically, you are looking to attack the face with the razor while creating as many flat surfaces as possible. Over time, you will easily be able to knock out even the most overgrown of beards in fifteen to twenty minutes.

Grow Faster Hair, Damn You

This might sound odd, but I actually look forward to shaving and wish my facial hair would grow faster just so I can experience the pleasure of the safety razor shave. Not only is it incredibly cost-effective past the initial investment, which really isn’t that much … it’s an absolute pleasure to do, and you’re preserving part of an old-fashioned ritual that deserves the time that it takes. Do you really want multiple blades ripping the hair out from your face and cutting it below the skin line, only to irritate and create painful ingrown hairs and red splotches. Do you really want to pay exorbitant amounts of money to this end? Stick with the stylish, economical, and awesome art of the safety razor wet shave and you’ll thank yourself. Who knows, maybe you’ll be the next wet shaving evangelist and put it in better words than I.

David Yancy Kang is 29 and not in the best shape of his life. This could be attributed to a lack of Bowflex, perhaps not. He works in IT; which likely has more to do with the previous statement than anything else. In his free time, he enjoys brewing beer, drinking said beer, and will occasionally actually finish a book but is predominantly a video game junkie. Other hobbies include running up small nation’s defense budgets in bar tabs, neat Macallan, cigars he can’t afford, having a laugh, cooking, and preparing for the zombie apocalypse. He currently resides in the Philadelphia area with his wife who is amazingly supportive of all his dumb ideas; as well as his two cats Roxy and Hiroshi and zero children.

By Georgia Cameron

I admit it. I have a problem. When I look into the eyes of a dog or cat on death row, or one that happens to wind up at my back door looking for food, I can’t help but get involved. There’s an intrinsic high you get when you save something that is near death, and seeing them off to their new homes with people that love and cherish them makes me feel like a super hero. I can’t imagine a drug that feels this good; on every level I am tingling with master-of-the-universe like power. I just saved a life.

After several years of near bankruptcy because of my condition, a few girlfriends and I pitched together and started what was supposed to be a tax umbrella and a little help for the vet care we put into our strays. Within three years we had grown to a point that was beyond a combined addiction – it was sheer insanity. With only 6 real volunteers and 4 foster homes, we managed to save over 220 animals in 2009. Of that number, more than ¾ had been marked for euthanasia at municipal shelters either because of space constraints or because they had failed behavioral tests. What makes our rescue different is that one of our founders is a professional dog trainer; we combine training into every single aspect of the rescue experience. Our dogs are rehabilitated from the ground up, and where once stood a terrified Chihuahua that would try and bite is now a happy family dog that enjoys hugs from children.

There are varying levels of rescue addiction. Some people watch Craigslist; others forward emails, some occasionally foster. Then there are the full blown addicts who are just crazy enough to try and start an actual organization dedicated to saving these animals. You are in a whole new territory when people are contacting you directly to save a dog they saw tied to a stop sign – and you actually go pick it up.

There is a lot of learning when you first start a rescue. Effectively filing your 501 application is no small feat, and finding ways to raise funds and stick to a budget is just as difficult. You will fight amongst yourselves, but in the end you’ll realize it takes the group effort to make a true rescue succeed, not just one individual.

Your personal life will suffer. Only a compassionate partner will understand when you have to skip a romantic dinner date so you can crawl through the mud, trapping kittens under an abandoned house that’s about to be torn down. You will reach points of sheer exhaustion, but you somehow manage to carry on (although not always coherently).

You will spar with your supporters. Some think you are miracle workers, others see you as paper pushers who just make the process more difficult with reference checks and adoption fees. You will quickly realize who your true friends are – the ones that will listen to your crazy stories and let you cry on their shoulder when you have a melt down. They also forward your frantic emails looking for homes when you get in 5 death-row dogs in one day, and somehow also managed to find a stray on the side of the road.

Your outer self may seem more tired, more world weary, and more jaded. You’ll have scars from bites, scratches and random accidents, and you’ll get more than one tetanus shot. Like a used car salesman you will start plugging your adoptable animals to everyone you know or meet. Yet the biggest change will come from within.

Your inner self, the one you know so intimately and can count on to act rationally, becomes like a lightning rod and occasionally a stranger. You will begin to feel the power of the universe as it moves through you, putting you in places at times that can’t be coincidence. You experience miracles that take your breath away. You will do things that sane people would walk away from, but you somehow embrace with the passion of a person who can see the difference they are making in the world.

In a short amount of time, you will become as one who does not feel complete if they aren’t juggling 20 balls at once. The people at PetSmart will know you by name, and your friends will begin to include veterinarians, animal control officers, and those similarly afflicted. You will love and hate the animals you save. You will fall to your knees in near ecstasy when that black mutt that’s been in your program for nearly a year smiles at you as he’s walked out the door by his new owners. You will cry when the dog that was dumped at the kill shelter for having cancer loses her battle, asleep on your bed. But you will thank the powers that be that you get to participate in this crazy ride that is animal rescue, and feel blessed for the ups and downs that now mark your life.

I am a rescue addict, and I am proud to admit it. In fact, it’s the thing I am most proud of about my life. It makes me whole just as it tears me apart. My inner-me has never been so lovely, just as my outer me has never had such a messy house or so many scars. But to save the life of a deserving animal, and give it a second chance, is the greatest accomplishment I can ever claim.

My name is Georgia Cameron, and I am the Vice President of a no-kill, non-breed specific animal rescue in Denver, Colorado. What started on a whim has turned into a full-time job and hobby. Check out NSC Rescue to learn about our organization and find out how you can get involved.

Become a fan of NSC Rescue on Facebook.




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By Lora Erickson, B.S,CES, CPT

www.blonderunner.com

Many runners will tell you that the half marathon is the perfect race distance. It’s long enough for a challenge, but short enough to allow a much quicker recovery than completing a full marathon.  However, half marathons take more preparation time than a 5K or 10K, so it is important to keep some things in mind when you are training for one. 

Take time to get in shape: It is not wise to enter a race out of shape, and let’s face it, you can really hurt yourself.  Running a race unprepared is rarely enjoyable and might prove to be a downright horrible experience souring your feelings towards ever doing one again.  To avoid this, take the time to get in shape so it will be a great experience that you will want to repeat again.    

Training correctly for a half marathon usually takes a number of months; so you can properly build your mileage gradually over time to prevent injury.  You’ll find that the average program takes 3 to 5 months to complete even when starting it in pretty good shape (running about 15 miles a week consistently).

Prevent injury with the 10% rule: Follow the standard rule increasing 10% of your mileage each week and taking an easy week every three weeks.  Allow enough weeks to run one or two long runs consisting of 14 or 15 miles each.  This way you will go into the race confident that you can complete the distance.  Make sure to incorporate speed work, cross training and strengthening exercises into your routine to keep you strong and injury free.     

Train for the race route terrain:  Nearly all races have the race route available in advance for you to review and adapt your training.  Are there some considerable hills?  If so, you will want to add hill repeats into your training plan.  Will you be running on loose gravel, a trail, sand, grass or mostly pavement?  Most likely there will be a variety of terrain; practice on various surfaces. This may also effect what shoes you race and train with.  You may need to consider altitude differences and add in some high altitude training sessions.

Create a race plan or strategy:  Too often runners go into races with no plan in place; no race strategy.  Even if you are not out to win it, you should still have a plan.  The plan should include pace variables, and a re-hydration/glucose strategy.  Plan out how much water and electrolyte fluid you need to consume at each water stop.  Study the map and learn where the water stops will be and what type of carbohydrate sources may be offered.  Then practice with the same brand at the same intervals to see how your body tolerates it. Nothing is worse than having to stop and go to the
restroom in the middle of a race.  Having a plan can also help prevent you for “running out of gas” or “hitting the wall.” 

Run your own race:  In college, my coaches would often tell me to run my own race, which means to go the pace that I have trained for and not get caught up in the “race,” starting out too fast. It’s important to know your pace and stick to it, follow a plan. 

By varying your terrain and taking the time to train properly you will find that your half marathon experience will prove to be much more enjoyable.   

Lora Erickson is a competitive runner and triathlete with over 24 years of experience.  As one of Colorado’s top distance runners, she was heavily recruited by various colleges throughout the US. She graduated from Utah State University where she was honored as an all-conference runner.   She is the owner of Blonde Runner Health LLC  in Bountiful, Utah where she currently resides with her husband and four children and has been coaching since 1996.  She has a true passion for health promotion and welcomes questions and comments. Contact her directly at lora@blonderunner.com or visit www.blonderunner.com for more information on services available.

Essential Bottles For Thanksgiving

By Pam J. Bernd

I awake to loud noises…pots and pans, shutting of the oven.  I walk out into the living room; the windows are covered with steam.  The smell of Thanksgiving lingers.  This is always my first memory of Thanksgiving Day.  This same scene repeats itself every year.  I am usually not happy about the loud noises, but I give thanks that I have this…and wine.

I have become the person everyone looks forward to seeing during the Holidays.  My only problem is half the family likes dry wine and the other half enjoys sweet.  I have this dilemma every year.  I used to serve them “pop” wines, but little by little I’ve tried to wean them away.  If you have the same quagmire, here are my suggestions for Thanksgiving.

Click on the Wines for More Information.

Sweet Wines

Selbach-Oster Riesling Spatlese Bernkasteler Badstube 2007brings a touch of sweetness to the table ($30 average).  Ripe Riesling flavors flow through this creamy structured wine, with hints of baking spices. Sokol Blosser Evolution brings together 9 different grape varietals to complete this slightly dry and aromatic wine full of nectarine, mango and melon flavors ($15 at the winery).  Evolution is a little drier then the “pop” wines, but a nice transition.

A red that is a nice pairing for turkey is a Beaujolais Nouveau.  Nouveau is the first wine of the year in Beaujolais.  Beaujolais lies in the Southern Burgundy region of France.  The only varietal allowed is Gamay.  Nouveau day is always the 3^rd Thursday of November.  By law, Nouveau cannot be sold until this day.  This day is hugely publicized and marketed all over the world with the traditional phrase, “Le Beaujolais est arrive!” (“The new Beaujolais has arrived!”).  The wine is about 6-8 weeks old.  Grapes are hand harvested and produced using carbonic maceration.  Carbonic maceration is the process of taking whole berry clusters and letting the grapes ferment before the grapes are crushed.  This creates a fresh and fruity wine with low tannins.  Most are very easy to drink and can be chilled.

My recommendations would be the most famous Georges Duboeuf Beaujolais Nouveau 2009 ($10 average).  This should be available at every retailer.  A lesser known producer would be Domaine Chatelus de la Roche Beaujolais Nouveau 2009 ($11 average).  Check your local wine retailer to see if they are hosting a Nouveau tasting.

Dry Wines

Now that we’ve covered some sweeter style wines, it’s time to talk drier.  For whites, I suggest something from Northern Rhone.  The region is mainly known for its 100% Syrah reds, but produces some amazing whites.  Viognier, Marsanne and Roussanne are the three varietals that can be used in this region.  Guigal St. Joseph White 2007 is a perfect choice ($30 average).  Luscious peach and melon notes bring together this blend of 95% Marsanne and 5% Roussanne.  Oak aging brings some hazelnut and creaminess to the wine.  This would pair wonderfully with an apple and walnut stuffing.

Pinot Gris and Pinot Noir from Oregon are nice addition to the Holiday table setting.  Pinot Gris is a mutant clone of Pinot Noir and referred to as Pinot Grigio in Italy.  Pinot Gris from Oregon can produce a delicate floral and light wine to a rich and full-bodied wine. King Estate Pinot Gris Signature 2007 brings pear and apple aromas with a lively citrus finish ($17 average).  My go to Pinot Noir from Oregon is Montinore Estate Pinot Noir.  The 2007 has sweet aromas of raspberry with ripe cherry and vanilla, hints of cinnamon that is rounded out by soft tannins ($18 average).

We tend to think of Rose as sweet wines, like White Zinfandel.  These days most Rose are produced in a dry method with can be great with Turkey for any wine drinker.  Roses are made by taking red grapes and leaving the skins in contact with the juice to produce a light pink colored wine.  Turkey Flat Rose 2008 is more on the dry French style rose.  Fresh strawberry and raspberry aromas rise from the wine with a clean, medium body finish ($15 average).

Don’t Argue With Your Taste Buds

Please remember that wine is fun.  These are just some suggestions that would be great with Thanksgiving dinner.  Regardless of the suggested pairings, the best match is what tastes good to you.  Drink what you like.

As ProLong Magazine’s official Wine Expert, Pam J. Bernd is excited to share her knowledge and advice with readers and show that even the most hardcore beer drinker can become a fan of wine. Pam started her college years wanting to work in the field of Information and Technology.  Bachelor’s degree in hand she started selling wine.  After learning about the different regions that make up the wine world, she started teaching a beginners class.  Now she purchases wine for a retail organization.  Having moved from her home town, she always enjoy going home and hanging with friends.