Adventures in Apartment Living

by Jennifer Maugle

Many of us have had the opportunity to meet some interesting and sometimes disturbing characters living just doors away. This is especially true when living in apartments under shared roofs and I am not even about to tackle landlords. Regardless of where you live, you have to wonder if you ever truly know your neighbors. Prior to taking the plunge and purchasing a house in 2007, my husband (then boyfriend) and I cohabited in a 2 bedroom apartment located in the northern suburbs of Philadelphia. We called this place “home” for five years and we can recall both good and not-so-good memories.

First, a quick recap of good memories and experiences: a fairly inexpensive place to live, use of pool and tennis courts (none of which we utilized – ever), free gym, numerous parties and gatherings with family and friends, we got got engaged while living here, and in our final years of apartment living we were privileged to have the company of good friends living just down the hall. This allowed for many hangouts, movie nights, dinner dates and more.

But let’s move on to the not-so-good memories, shall we? Sometimes when I look back on our time there, I have to just shake my head and laugh (and feel blessed to have the home we now live in). As anyone who lives in or has lived in an apartment knows, there could be a variety of characters (um, neighbors) to deal with or come across.

Enter “Eddie”. Eddie, his significant other, and their baby boy moved in across the hall from us and seemed like a nice enough, young family. I was asked once if I would ever babysit (they did not know me whatsoever) and when I said, “No, I am 27 and have a full-time job”, they were surprised and thought I was actually 17. As they settled in across the hall and time passed, we began to notice the distinct smell of pot coming from their apartment, the hallway and landing of the staircase. I realize that this probably isn’t an uncommon thing but it still irked me that it was seeping under our door fairly often and oh the fact that they lived with a small child who was inhaling second hand weed.

We soon realized this wasn’t much of an issue compared to what was about to happen. Fast forward to the time when our good friends and neighbors had their car stolen right out of the parking lot beneath their window. I probably shouldn’t go into great detail but suffice it to say we all know who did it or at least who was associated with the incident. The car was found in northern New Jersey, stripped of its parts.

Let’s continue. Who doesn’t get annoyed by bugs and infestations? Well we did, that’s for sure. It was bad enough when the cockroaches began parading under our front door from across the trashy-smelling neighbor’s apartment. We sprayed and killed them one by one and even came up with names for some of them: Cocky (the original), Jocky (the quick one), Stocky (the slow, dumb one), and Papa Roach too. Not surprisingly, when the tenants moved out and the apartment was cleaned, we didn’t get any more roach visitors.

However, the worst was yet to come. One day, we noticed that we were starting to get bites and welts all over our arms and legs. They didn’t itch too much but it was summertime so we just thought we had a mosquito or four stuck somewhere in our bedroom, sucking our blood in our sleep. Well, as the bites didn’t go away and we never found any mosquitoes, we weren’t sure what was going on until one night when we put a bedroom light on in the middle of the night. Much to our shock and dismay, we saw a plethora of little brownish-black bugs crawling on our bed as well as on us(they were too light-weight to even feel). I about lost it. To make a long story short, we had a nasty case of the bedbugs. We had pest control come numerous times to treat our apartment and our possessions (these buggers are incredibly hard to fight). We had to throw away our bed (where the bedbugs infest, multiply and leave black spots of excrement under the mattress edges) and sleep on our futon in the living room for approximately two weeks. How and why did these blood suckers come to us and where in the world did they come from? Who knew that bedbugs actually existed in real life and not just in the catchy kids’ phrase “Sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite”? We eventually learned that they came from a recently evacuated apartment down the hall. Articles about bedbug invasions began
appearing all over the Internet and the news, especially being an issue in New York. They were easily being brought over unknowingly from foreign countries, becoming an issue for hotels and travelers, bedbugs attaching to luggage and so on. Although they pose no major threat of disease or harm, they are highly annoying and difficult to get rid of. Bedbugs my friends, are not cool.

And what would apartment living be without the danger of fire? It was around midnight one evening when the smoke alarms sounded out in the halls. We didn’t immediately rush up and outta there given that these things tend to go off for no apparent reason or because some juvenile decided to pull the alarm for fun. After too many minutes went by without it being shut off, I started to worry and opened our door to the hall to peek out. Smoke! Lots and lots of smoke! My significant other and I promptly went down the three flights of stairs and outside to where everyone else was. I seriously considered taking our cat with us but I was persuaded to keep her inside and that everything would be fine (although we didn’t truly know). As we passed one of our neighbor’s doors, we noticed it was slightly open and discovered that it was the source of all the smoke. We stood outside chattering with other residents as four township firetrucks pulled up to assess the situation. In they went and out they came a bit later with our neighbor, in a state of much confusion and/or drunkenness, wearing nothing but tighty whiteys and a dull look in his eyes. I don’t think he had a clue as to what was happening – we later found out that he fell asleep with items burning on the stove. Class-act neighbor right there.

I could go on and on with other stories such as the children who shot BB guns outside at each other (and put dents in cars in the process) or the time I came home from work to find helicopters swirling overhead and police cars and ambulances staked out all over the place (there had been a shooting in the apartment building next door). Or, amusing stories about our male neighbor who enjoyed blasting his Britney Spears techno music with the lights off except for his rotating party lights ball. Or the fact that we had another neighbor truly named Chuck Norris who drove a jaguar.

We had five years worth of interesting apartment living I must say. I look back and laugh now but also thank my lucky stars that we were able to get out before anything else happened. We are very thankful for the home we now own thirty miles north of Philadelphia. Home owning is a whole other bag of stories but I’ll save that for some other time. For those of you currently living in apartments or other community-based living arrangements, hopefully you’ve had better luck than we have. If you’re holding out to make an eventual house purchase – good luck, you will get there! And remember, sleep tight my friends … and don’t let those bedbugs bite!

By Georgia Cameron

I admit it. I have a problem. When I look into the eyes of a dog or cat on death row, or one that happens to wind up at my back door looking for food, I can’t help but get involved. There’s an intrinsic high you get when you save something that is near death, and seeing them off to their new homes with people that love and cherish them makes me feel like a super hero. I can’t imagine a drug that feels this good; on every level I am tingling with master-of-the-universe like power. I just saved a life.

After several years of near bankruptcy because of my condition, a few girlfriends and I pitched together and started what was supposed to be a tax umbrella and a little help for the vet care we put into our strays. Within three years we had grown to a point that was beyond a combined addiction – it was sheer insanity. With only 6 real volunteers and 4 foster homes, we managed to save over 220 animals in 2009. Of that number, more than ¾ had been marked for euthanasia at municipal shelters either because of space constraints or because they had failed behavioral tests. What makes our rescue different is that one of our founders is a professional dog trainer; we combine training into every single aspect of the rescue experience. Our dogs are rehabilitated from the ground up, and where once stood a terrified Chihuahua that would try and bite is now a happy family dog that enjoys hugs from children.

There are varying levels of rescue addiction. Some people watch Craigslist; others forward emails, some occasionally foster. Then there are the full blown addicts who are just crazy enough to try and start an actual organization dedicated to saving these animals. You are in a whole new territory when people are contacting you directly to save a dog they saw tied to a stop sign – and you actually go pick it up.

There is a lot of learning when you first start a rescue. Effectively filing your 501 application is no small feat, and finding ways to raise funds and stick to a budget is just as difficult. You will fight amongst yourselves, but in the end you’ll realize it takes the group effort to make a true rescue succeed, not just one individual.

Your personal life will suffer. Only a compassionate partner will understand when you have to skip a romantic dinner date so you can crawl through the mud, trapping kittens under an abandoned house that’s about to be torn down. You will reach points of sheer exhaustion, but you somehow manage to carry on (although not always coherently).

You will spar with your supporters. Some think you are miracle workers, others see you as paper pushers who just make the process more difficult with reference checks and adoption fees. You will quickly realize who your true friends are – the ones that will listen to your crazy stories and let you cry on their shoulder when you have a melt down. They also forward your frantic emails looking for homes when you get in 5 death-row dogs in one day, and somehow also managed to find a stray on the side of the road.

Your outer self may seem more tired, more world weary, and more jaded. You’ll have scars from bites, scratches and random accidents, and you’ll get more than one tetanus shot. Like a used car salesman you will start plugging your adoptable animals to everyone you know or meet. Yet the biggest change will come from within.

Your inner self, the one you know so intimately and can count on to act rationally, becomes like a lightning rod and occasionally a stranger. You will begin to feel the power of the universe as it moves through you, putting you in places at times that can’t be coincidence. You experience miracles that take your breath away. You will do things that sane people would walk away from, but you somehow embrace with the passion of a person who can see the difference they are making in the world.

In a short amount of time, you will become as one who does not feel complete if they aren’t juggling 20 balls at once. The people at PetSmart will know you by name, and your friends will begin to include veterinarians, animal control officers, and those similarly afflicted. You will love and hate the animals you save. You will fall to your knees in near ecstasy when that black mutt that’s been in your program for nearly a year smiles at you as he’s walked out the door by his new owners. You will cry when the dog that was dumped at the kill shelter for having cancer loses her battle, asleep on your bed. But you will thank the powers that be that you get to participate in this crazy ride that is animal rescue, and feel blessed for the ups and downs that now mark your life.

I am a rescue addict, and I am proud to admit it. In fact, it’s the thing I am most proud of about my life. It makes me whole just as it tears me apart. My inner-me has never been so lovely, just as my outer me has never had such a messy house or so many scars. But to save the life of a deserving animal, and give it a second chance, is the greatest accomplishment I can ever claim.

My name is Georgia Cameron, and I am the Vice President of a no-kill, non-breed specific animal rescue in Denver, Colorado. What started on a whim has turned into a full-time job and hobby. Check out NSC Rescue to learn about our organization and find out how you can get involved.

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By Robert J. Ottaviani

I took the standard oath when I signed on to blog for ProLong thereby surrendering my first born or designated child that I wished to sacrifice. They put me through all of the DNA testing,the secret handshake and signing off on the clause that prevents me from blogging for a competitor.
I know as I write the following I’m being semi-sacrilegious because part of ProLong Magazine’s objective is to promote a longer healthier lifestyle. However, the way I view it a sense of humor is vital to a healthy body and mind.With that in mind and in the style of a certain late night TV host and with tongue firmly planted in cheek I give you the following:

Top 10 reasons for not living a healthy lifestyle
10.Don’t have to concern yourself with those pesky expiration dates
9.Can use treadmill as an additional source of hanging clothes
8.Puts all you can eat buffets back into play
7.Amusement park rides don’t have a weight restriction only height
6.The rise in popularity in over sized furniture makes the timing oh so right
5.Calorie schmalories … give me some of that bacon fat
4.Polyester clothing with Lycra has great elasticity qualities
3.It gives one the opportunity to “super size” it
2.We will end the prejudice against fat people in our lifetime
1.Sugar is good food

Top 10 reasons for not exercising
10.Putting on twenty is easier than losing twenty
9.Eliminates choosing a favorite fitness guru to follow (Sorry Matt Tucker)
8.Riding a stationary bike gets you nowhere and the scenery is boring
7.Endorphin high isn’t as good as the one you get from donuts
6.Sweating is largely overrated
5.Assuming sedentary position makes it easy for people to find you
4.Eliminates those pangs of guilt when you cheat
3.Couldn’t figure out how to hook up the new exercise equipment to the sofa
2.Anything less than a lifetime commitment is considered failure
1.No time wasted kneeling on a mat at the gym staring at some unsightly posteriors

Top 10 reasons for staying off drugs and alcohol
10.The faces you wake up to the next morning are familiar
9.Able to avoid that one always annoying jerk
8.Have the ability to actually recall and recant stories with details
7.Wake up the next morning without corn stalks hanging out your car windows
6.Rehab is for losers
5.State store wont revoke your platinum membership status
4.New circle of friends are okay with you staying home to watch a movie
3.Less recyclables to put out each week
2.English becomes your first language again
1.”Let’s do some shots”

Robert J. Ottaviani (Bert) is a cusp born Aries the ram who has lived through summer of love in the late sixties and the hippie culture that bled into the seventies. He has a passion for music, gardening and all things nature … and laffy taffy. He is freakishly aware of music trivia to absurd levels. Most days you can find him playing his guitar or jotting down lyrics. He was so impacted from the moment he first heard the Beatles that he has Beatlemanianized his life,been to Liverpool, England and remains convinced he is the fifth Beatle. He is married to a gentle and lovely vibe of a woman with three wonderful children. He currently lives and resides in strawberry fields forever.

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A Look At An Old New Chapter of Love

Elle Mathews

I was fresh out of high school and ready for a new chapter in my life. Most of my friends went away to college but I chose community college for the first two years. I wanted to save money plus I didn’t have a clue where I wanted to go yet. There were many things I didn’t expect when I started this new chapter in my life. I didn’t expect the classes, especially community college, to be harder than high school or that I wouldn’t easily make friends. I didn’t expect that I would change majors and I certainly didn’t expect to be in a two year relationship. During high school, I didn’t study half as much as I did, I had a good amount of friends and my relationships were two boyfriends in 10th and 11th grades that both lasted about three months.

My new life chapter ended up being a lonely and confusing time but my newest HE was there to pick up the pieces. In the beginning the relationship was new and exciting. He took me out to dinner practically every other night. He would buy things for me that I didn’t ask for and we went to places that I never had been. He showed me how wonderful someone could be treated. But then after awhile, something happened. I began to see we were on two different paths in our lives. Even though he was only three years older then me, (he was 21 and I was 18) he was a couple of stages ahead of me in his life and it started to show. He was finished with college, had a decent job and made decent money. Plus he made extra money working some weekends at a local store. I had just started college, had a part time job and struggled to even pay my tuition. He established himself by the age of 21 and I had no idea what my future held. We tried to find things in common. He thought my friends were immature. I thought his friends were boring. When I went to parties with my friends, I would get lectured about underage drinking. Then I started relying on him for too much. He melted away my problems, fixed anything that was broken and bought me anything that I wanted but couldn’t afford. He even got me a part time job where he worked on the weekends. I convinced myself that I needed him to do almost everything for me to the point where I felt vulnerable without him.

I look back at this now and I don’t believe his intentions were to belittle or control me but to secure his place in the relationship. He was trying to prove to me that I needed him and he succeeded. He wanted so much for my affection that I feel he took it too far. After he broke up with me, my confidence and independence were shattered and it took me awhile to get them back. I learned to never rely that much on a person again. Because life is full of trials and tribulations, I must experience them to live. I just don’t have to do it alone.

The ironic part of it all was that in the end he cheated on me with a “friend” that we both worked with at the store. They were engaged within a couple of months. Working there was a daily reminder of what he did to me until I went away to college six months later. I was humiliated in front of all my coworkers and I went through one of the hardest experiences of my life. The one person who would give me the world for my affection became the one person that hurt me the most.

Elle Mathews is currently trying to break into a field that fits her interests and inventive mind. She has a passion for the performing arts, writing, video editing/TV production and creativity. She can’t get enough of beautiful scenery and wants to see the world. Elle is experienced at dating and online dating and has much to share with our readers. Elle is always up for learning and trying new experiences.

Commuter IV

By Cynna Woo

No commute for me this weekend because of the holidays, I’m enjoying a day off from work watching morning television in bed while trolling the Internet. I like reading newspapers online and shopping for Christmas. It is so much easier than wandering aimlessly through department stores searching for something to jump out at me.

My recently married daughter is student teaching and thus without income. She announced “we’re doing a budget Christmas this year,” does this mean I get to cut back as well? No, that’s not the spirit! I’m finally in a position where it doesn’t take until June to pay off Christmas. Now that my children are adults and give me decent lists that don’t ask for a car or a pony, I enjoy shopping for them and their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Oh that’s right; I am a mother-in-law now, something that will take time getting used to. I feel my every utterance is now shared with “him”. I must learn not to be needy and to share my daughter with another family. Thank God her “him” is the perfect person for her. Both my son and daughter have chosen to love someone I love as well, who could ask for more? (although I always do want more). In the future I’ll brace myself for the Christmas morning when it will be only the two of us. But this year everyone will be at my house on Christmas Eve. All my nieces and nephews are teenagers and have stopped jumping on the furniture. We’ll play games, open gifts and have fun being together. On Christmas morning, I’ll be mom and mom-in-law, waiting for the newlyweds to come down the stairs for coffee in front of the tree.

Tonight it is my husband who will make the commute, much more difficult because so many more people travel back from Philadelphia to New Jersey every day. This living apart can be trying. However, It does have a few positives and anticipation of my Tom’s arrival on a Friday night is one of them.

We have a little dinner when he arrives, and afterwards we walk over to the Village of Smithville, right across the street. Smithville is an old fashioned village of quaint little shops and an Inn that serves dinner and hosts weddings and events. It sits on a lake with paddle-boats ducks and giant white geese. There are 25 lighted trees floating on the lake. Music plays and the trees change colors to tunes by Mannheim Steamroller and The Carpenters. We are often the only ones observing this spectacular and I add my own interpretive dance if no one is looking. Tonight being Friday, there will probably be others about, celebrating the Christmas season by dinning at the Inn and strolling among the shops. Fred and Ethel’s, is a tavern and eatery in the village. It offers live music on Friday evenings. Who will it be tonight, the staring bartender-the one who never seems to notice an empty glass, or the perky girl bartender who serves peanuts with a flair? Either way it’s our own little “Cheers” and I love it.

The Commuter is a column by Cynna Woo. She has been commuting between South Jersey and the Philadelphia suburbs for the last four years. When she first landed her great job as an academic advisor in N.J. she did not mind the drive. But, driving 65 miles one way grew old very fast. She shortened the drive time by buying a condo in Smithville, NJ. She now lives like a single person during the week and commutes to her “big house” and husband of 35 years, on the weekends. She would like to share her commuter musings, while driving. She will actually write them down when she gets home, because she hasn’t perfected writing while driving quite yet. Cynna enjoys reviewing movies, show tunes, listening to Howard Stern, speaking in french, collecting mermaids, hiking, and spending quality time with her amazing family.

From Goodwill to Whole Foods

by Melissa D. Calder

The Winter Holidays are wrapping up – a time of love, family, religion, and … shopping! Did I mention that I love shopping? Some questions flow with this admission of guilt. Does that mean I am a bad person? Can shopping prolong my life? Well … I actually think it can. The adrenaline rush I get from shopping can make my day. The endorphins rush through my hand into my wrist and up my arm via my neck to my brain and take me away to an excited happy land of Nirvana that tells me that I can possess a brand new item. Sometimes it is an item I have been searching for (maybe even for years), and I am thrilled to have finally found it. Sometimes it is an item that is on sale; (oh my, that word really makes the serotonin levels elevate). Occasionally it is an item that has beautiful packaging and I don’t need it at all but it is just too beautiful to pass up and it makes me feel so good.

There are two places of business in particular that the shopping fix is always guaranteed to be good. I enjoy shopping at both, however they can be completely different experiences for different reasons. One I would have to describe as a world of beautiful, symmetrical displays of sometimes overpriced but perfectly aligned arrangements of food. I call this the mighty land of Whole Foods.

The other has a particular smell that just reeks of cheap but unique authentic clothing. I like to go there for the bargains, the retro clothing, and unique one of a kind finds that are only in your size and usually the only one on the rack. This of course is Goodwill (a wonderful chain of thrift stores).

The two places are similar because I never feel the guilt that one might feel from buying a pair of expensive shoes or spending too much money on a trendy sweater, bag or jewelry. The reason I never feel guilty is because at Goodwill I am automatically saving money by buying recycled goods. Whole Foods is a grocery store, everyone needs to eat, and I truly believe that I make more healthy choices while shopping at this grocery store.
Plus, as I said before they both make me feel good. You can judge me either way on this one because I have heard both.

“You shop at Whole Foods that is way too expensive!”
“You Shop at the Goodwill, why would you want to own someone else’s old clothes?”

Go ahead and judge, but I know it is difficult for anyone to resist an organic apple that has just been freshly sprayed by the cute young man with a beard and a green apron.
So, a more important thought than judgment might be to analyze why we as human beings get this rush from shopping at specific places. I know there are others out there that enjoy these places just as much as I do, if not more. Some of you cynics may think of Goodwill as unsanitary because you are buying clothes that were once worn by someone else or you think that all the clothes at Goodwill are out of style. But perhaps, you just haven’t learned the patience to go searching for the pot of gold in a sea of polyester pants and gold plated belts.

Note: Don’t forget as well to take the time to give your purchases a good wash before wearing them.

The search for these items makes the shopping experience that much more of a rush. Picture yourself walking down aisle after aisle pushing and pulling the metal hangers away from an item that just might have potential. Some days the search through the “thrift store” is like a mild workout. You pushed yourself a bit, but don’t feel overextended. However, other days can be like running on the treadmill and at the end of your run is a black pencil skirt from Donna Karen. Oh yes, life is good. Did I forget to mention that the skirt was only 10 bucks? I can picture the outfit for New Years Eve now, the outfit will be cute and unique and no one needs to know that you purchased it at the “thrift store”; or you can gloat in the fact that you got a cute outfit for less! Shopping at Goodwill helps your wallet and you are supporting Goodwill’s philosophy of supplying job training to people will disabilities.

Just walking into Whole Foods makes me smile. I carry my recycled bag with pride. Look at me fellow shoppers: “I save the earth”! Gosh, that feels good. Not to mention that the canvas whole food bags are amazingly sturdy and can hold many pounds of groceries without breaking! Oh, there are the beautiful organic vegetables, they are so pretty and there are fruits here that I have never heard of before. I wonder if I will see any Top Chef contestants. I feel smart at Whole Foods because I can buy beans and granola. Yes, beans and granola make me feel smart. I stare at the wall of items you can buy in bulk and I pick and choose as much as I want of these items. I decide how much and how many. I don’t have to buy a particular 16 ounce bag that looks like the rest of the bags on the shelf. I can buy my own unique bag of blueberry granola. If I want it to be 16.2 ounces, well, then that is just fine. I continue to the dessert area grabbing a free sample of cheese on the way, another reason I love this place. The desserts are also aesthetically pleasing. They come in small portions. This makes me eat less and feel healthy. I want dessert, but I don’t want to have a whole pie or cake in my home. A perfect Tiramisu for two is just what I was looking for, oh delightful! The salad bar and soup bar are amazing. The choices of freshly prepared food are impressive and unique. Would you like bar-b-Q tofu or a more traditional choice of tomato soup? The choice is yours.

Shopping is not as dirty of a word as some might think. There are many stores out there that not only have the potential to appease the shopping adrenaline rush, but that also contribute a portion of the cost of your purchases to a greater cause. Goodwill Industries create over 10,000 jobs for people with special needs. They have also recently started an online store which creates additional employment. Whole Foods is an organic and natural grocery store that exemplifies “going green” and giving back to the community. A corporation that gives back rather than takes; what a brilliant idea!

So, go ahead and call me a granola loving, tree hugging, smart shopping hipster, because that is exactly what I want to be.

Melissa D. Calder, B.A, M.A.T, is an advocate for innovative education. She recently completed designing an art education book to be published and is busy searching out creativity in the small corners of the World. She is Busy Painting, Creating, Producing, Dreaming, Scheming, Relaxing, Socializing, Being, Critiquing, Judging, Contemplating, Wondering, Wishing, Playing, and Dancing. With her coffee, some music and a creative outlet she is happy.

By Robert J. Ottaviani

It can be a life long endeavor. It can be something that you put on the shelf to get to later. It can be evasive and elusive. It doesn’t often present itself outwardly and when it does you may not recognize it. It is available to most everyone and yet so few have it. It can seem difficult to achieve with work restraints, family obligations and health issues but not impossible. It is the ultimate prize we chase after whether we realize it or not. So what is it? What is this untapped mystery we seek to discover? I’ll call it THE SECRET OF LIFE. No,not just the gift of life we’ve all been given. I’m referring to a much deeper quality of living which I’ll try to explain a little further.

I’ve witnessed it so I know it’s real. I had a family member who they told me when he was younger was very stern and harsh in large part probably because of the physical ailments he had endured. The discomfort that ravaged his body affected his demeanor as it would each and everyone one of us. But somewhere along the way he found the key and unlocked THE SECRET and once you do the world is at your fingertips. Whenever he golfed he seemed to enjoy it a little more than you did. When he ate he seemed more pleased than you. When he walked his step had a little more bounce in it than yours did. It didn’t make you irritated but a better word would be envious. It was genuine and whatever it was he had found you knew that you hadn’t.

Over the years we became good friends but he couldn’t share “it” with me even if he wanted. It’s non transferable because it takes a different key for everyone. The direction we take to get there can be as different and unique as we are to each other. I understood that much. I watched intently to see if there was a clue left behind. I admired the fact that his life always seemed to run smoothly, that he was never pressed for time like the world had slowed down for him. He seemed in sync,in perfect harmony with the world around him. We never talked about “it”. I’m not even sure he knew what he had but I sure did. He had gained the ability to extract meaning from each and every moment even when they seemed mundane to everyone else. He found joy in the simplest passages of time that the rest of us took for granted.

God has given us all the chance to walk the planet but more importantly the opportunity to make the most of it. I implore you to not just go through the motions. Reach out and try to grab the golden key. We are given as many chances as we need so don’t be afraid to fail. I believe we have been presented a challenge to try and extract the most out of the life we have been given. Find out what works for you and if you’re fortunate enough to make that connection your life will be impacted in a positive way. Others just may follow your lead.

Robert J. Ottaviani (Bert) is a cusp born Aries the ram who has lived through summer of love in the late sixties and the hippie culture that bled into the seventies. He has a passion for music, gardening and all things nature … and laffy taffy. He is freakishly aware of music trivia to absurd levels. Most days you can find him playing his guitar or jotting down lyrics. He was so impacted from the moment he first heard the Beatles that he has Beatlemanianized his life,been to Liverpool, England and remains convinced he is the fifth Beatle. He is married to a gentle and lovely vibe of a woman with three wonderful children. He currently lives and resides in strawberry fields forever.

Getting Rid of all the Excess Junk

By Janel Pfluger

It’s that time of year. Time for the big purge, or the purge before the binge, as I like to think of it. Soon I will be gorging myself on turkey and all the trimmings, and giving my credit cards a workout in attempt to find just the right Christmas gift for my loved ones. But before I indulge it’s time to pare my life down a little. Over the course of a year, I seem to accumulate a lot of “stuff.” My stuff starts to overwhelm me a bit as I try to find places to put it all. When I start to feel anxiety over where I should put all this stuff, I know it’s time to get rid of some of it.

That Time Of The Year

It begins with clothes. Every year, when it is time to put away the summer digs (sigh) and take out the winter gear, I make a point of carefully pruning my wardrobe. If I haven’t worn it for a year, or forgot I even owned it, chances are I don’t love it. In the donation pile it goes. Now for me, this can get hairy. What about that sweater that my aunt gave me for last Christmas? I didn’t have the heart to tell her I didn’t like it, and she never includes a gift receipt, but can I really get rid of clothes that still have the tags on them? The answer is yes, yes I can. All it is doing in my closet is taking up space, when it could be keeping someone warm.

Learning To Let Go

But then what about the pair of jeans that I absolutely love, but have a huge hole in the butt. A huge, non-sewable, not looking like the ripped-on-purpose-jeans, kind of hole. Do I have to get rid of them? Yup, I do. They aren’t doing my back end any favors. Into the trash pile.

Okay, now here’s the hard part that every self respecting lady (and some of you guys too) must learn to do. See that dress (or shirt/pants) that is two sizes smaller than your current size? The one that made you look like a movie star when you were thin enough to wear it? Gently pluck it from your closet of clothes you can actually fit into and drop it into the donation pile. Time to let some other hottie look like a movie star. Eh-eh, no second thoughts. Put it back down. Think of it this way, if you ever do lose weight and get back to that size, you can reward yourself by going shopping for a new favorite dress. Repeat this process with all the other clothes in your wardrobe that do not fit you anymore. Well, okay, you can keep one thing, your skinny jeans. But just for motivation. And only if you really have to, I mean don’t you look pretty fabulous just the way you are?

Room For The New

Now when this is all done, my closet will only consist of the clothes that I actually wear, like, and look good on me. There will be room in it for gifts I may get for Christmas, and for the occasional new item. When I am done bagging up the clothes that I will take to Good Will, I feel satisfied and relieved (once that dress is out of my sight). My closet is neat and organized and I can feel good about donating some decent clothing to charity.

Seeking Out The Junk

Then it’s on to the other stuff: the junk drawer, the bookshelf, the filing cabinet, my drawer full of cosmetics and hair and skin care products. The general rule is if I don’t use it or I don’t need it (in the true sense of the word need), then I get rid of it. Of course there are exceptions. There are pictures that I don’t look at often, but I treasure and do not want to part with. There are back issues of magazines that I haven’t gotten to yet, but will. There are some exceptions I will allow myself, but not many. It’s amazing how freeing it feels to do this every year. Because the truth is, I really don’t need all these things to be happy. In fact, very few of them really make me happy.

The Calm of Clean

After I have gotten rid of all the things that were just taking up space, I feel calmer. When I look around my home, all of the things that are left are things that I truly want, not things that I just have. Of course, it won’t stay this way. Over the course of the next year, I will accumulate more stuff that I don’t need and find myself doing the same thing again next year. But such is life; it’s cyclical. And there are much worse problems to be had.

Janel Pfluger is a writer, career coach, college instructor, and bartender, among other things. She is looking forward to receiving a Master of Arts in English degree in January of 2010, and finally being able to read whatever she wants. Janel enjoys reading, writing, the beach, photography, travel, family, good friends, good beer, good times. She has a passion for words, but cannot stand the words: moist, slacks (as in trousers), and panties. She also thinks everyone should go skydiving at least once in their lives.

by Adrian Hoppel

I know the meaning of life.

I’m not kidding; I’ve figured it out some years ago. Do you want to know what it is? Well, as is the case in these kind of things, I can’t easily share it with you. Its the sort of thing you really need to uncover yourself. But perhaps I can try to share some insights from my journey of discovery, and maybe you’ll find them helpful. I hope so, because I’m sure I’m right about this, and that is why this column was born. Heady stuff, I agree; I’ve never been known to be short of ego or ambition. But more about me later…

There is a philosophy my wife and I developed that we call “Follow The Path”. The foundation of this ideology is a neat little juxtaposition: that the course of events in your life that will lead you to be truly happy are pre-determined, but the challenge (and where most fail) is to recognize when these events arise and to make the right choice. It is a destiny that is only available to you if you are careful with your free will.

It starts with a question, and this is the hardest part, because I think it is the most important question in your life. In fact, it is the question OF your life, and it is this:

What Is Most Important To You?

And you only get one answer. Uncovering something like this takes a lot of serious thought, meditation, reflection… it is no easy task. Whatever it is, achieving it should be the one thing that, lying on your deathbed, would give you cause to say your life was a success.

Think about that. A lot.

One thing. Seems like small thinking? Just one thing? I realize there are a lot of things we want to do; we all have a lot of goals, a lot of dreams. There is not enough time and resources for us to accomplish all the wonders we imagine.

And that is the point.

We are constantly bombarded with all the things that we want to do, all the things we need to do. Pressure is thrown on us from every direction, and often most fiercely from within. We become unfocused, things seem complicated, and our decision making suffers. So we get on ourselves even more, we push ourselves even harder.

We often spend too much of our energy on things that are not truly important, and neglect the things that are. We stop following the path toward happiness, because we are pushing ourselves in the wrong direction. And when that spiral really gets going, the pressure becomes stress, and we suffer physically, mentally and spiritually. You know something is not right, you can feel it at work, you can feel it in your relationships, you can sense it inside. You are wandering in the woods… off the path.

What Is Most Important To You?

Find that answer. If you don’t answer that question, or if you don’t answer it correctly, it is like trying to hit a target wearing a blindfold. You might hit it; you probably won’t. Either way, you will waste a lot of time trying, and our time here is short.

The answer is the key to the process, the key to following the path. Once you find the answer, it needs to become the focal point of every decision you face as you head down the path. Every time you are faced with choosing a direction, you simply choose the direction that most leads toward that which you value the most.

“Big” decisions, “small” decisions – it does not matter. Every choice you make is either going to bring you closer to achieving your answer, or take you further away from it. Every choice you make will either take you further down the path, or lead you astray into the woods.

That’s the trick. Sounds easy, and in a way, it is. It is easy to see the choice, to see the right answer. But that does not mean it is easy to do. If you are disciplined to this approach, if you really stay true to the path, many of your decisions are going to seem odd, are going to even be controversial. It doesn’t matter; if you were true and honest when you answered The Question, and if you are staying true to that answer, you are staying true to yourself and you will ultimately be right.

Even when the choice seems really difficult, it is usually because either choice appears to have such major ramifications on your life. Maybe they do… and maybe they don’t. It is hard to see far down the path, often you can barely make out where the next turn is.

But there are always signs. Seriously. When you are faced with the choice, and you are truly deciding which direction will continue down the path, just follow the signs. If you are really concentrating hard on the choice, the signs will be big and bright, and the choice (however shocking) will be obvious.

Following the path has been just that way for me; it has been easy to see the direction to go, but sometimes hard to go through with it. Sometimes I’ve been second guessed by everyone whose opinions I cared about, yet I forged ahead. I stayed on the path, on my path. At least, I try to.

When I find myself flailing in the forest, unsure how I got to be wandering so far off the path, I retrace my steps, my decisions, back to where I was when I was still on the path. I identify exactly what choice led me astray, and I try to correct. Staying on – following the path – that is the challenge of a lifetime.

Adrian Hoppel is in crazy-love with the same woman for 13 years and running.  Together they share 3 brilliant children, a lovely dog that unknowingly suffers from ADD, and a really, really small house in Philadelphia.  He has driven across and through most of the United States, including 3 cross-country moves with the entire family.  He’s held a variety of jobs since college in a variety of fields including: professional soldier; concrete laborer; cemetery salesperson; telecommunications salesperson; roofing salesperson; office supplies salesperson; business development consultant; and medical advertising salesperson.  Adrian also fancies himself to be The One to write the next Great American Novel.  He believes passionately in the Bill of Rights, natural childbirth, natural parenting, natural living, homeschooling, and a dedication to a lifestyle philosophy he and his wife call “Following the Path”.

Follow The Path will be a monthly article as well as a semi-daily blog where Adrian will share anecdotes and explore the meaning of life and other such trivial minutiae.