THIS IS NOT THE DREAM
The Working From Home Lifestyle Revolution
By Jim Calder
Continued:

Are You Ready?

Ask yourself the following:
1) Are you dedicated enough to stay productive and motivated in the home office?
2) Are you prepared to always be available during the 9-5 hours for emergency emails, calls, meetings and problems coming in from coworkers?
3) Are you technologically prepared. Do you have Internet access that does not go out? Are you ready to use your personal phone to call into meetings?
4) Are you prepared for the natural jealousy that comes with working from home when your coworkers do not?
5) Are you confident enough in your work ethic to ignore coworkers bashing the fact that you are “working from home”?
6) Can you handle extra criticism when there is a mistake in your work, and your boss may think that it is because you WFH.
7) Are you dedicated to work past 5 pm on most days that you work from home, especially if you are multitasking during the day and need to put in some extra time.

Hey Kids … Look At Dad

My father is an outstanding example of the dedication needed to work from home. On days when he works from home he follows the same routine that he does on days when he goes into the office. He gets up at the same time, showers, eats and goes into his home office. He comes down for an hour at lunch and then returns to work. My dad usually stays up there longer because he is not dealing with his hour and a half commute home. Many would see this as being more productive while cutting out three hours of driving in one day.

How To Start the Conversation

You have arrived at the point where you realize that your career would be greatly improved by working at home at least one day a week. You are ready to take on the responsibility that comes with working from home, what comes next? Formulate your case and have an open and honest discussion with your boss. Explain your reasoning about why you want to become a more efficient and happy employee.

Disclaimer: If your employer is a hard ass or blow hard, stuck in the past and seeking failure in the future and happens to fire you for requesting to work from home, ProLong Magazine and Jim Calder are legally not at fault.

Jim Calder is the brand architect and co-founder of ProLong Magazine. Jim was born with the perfect combination of cockiness and self consciousness. He has over 10 years of publishing industry experience and lives and works in Philadelphia, Pa. Jim strongly believes that the current 9-5 Monday-Friday format of “Work” is dying. Those that refuse to recognize this will be left behind in the decaying office complexes across America. He currently can be found on the greatest adventure of his life as a newlywed with his wife Melissa. Jim can be contacted via email at jim@prolongmagazine.com

The Working From Home Lifestyle Revolution

By Jim Calder

My wife woke up recently and said, “Wouldn’t it be great if we just had to wake up and walk downstairs to work? Think of all the time we would save, we could shower at lunch and wouldn’t have to spend an hour getting ready in the morning,” she said. “We wouldn’t each have to drive two hours every weekday.”
Just a few days later I was facing an hour and a half ride into work (my usual commute is only an hour each way) because of heavy rains. The horrible commute got me thinking, why don’t more people and more companies embrace the Work from Home (WFH) lifestyle?

My Manifesto

Most of the people that I know who seem to love their jobs also seem to be working from home. Some own their own business, others work from home full time, and others work from home only once a week. I currently work for an employer that gives me clearance to work from home once a week.
The common thread is the ability to balance our busy lives while merging our careers with our personal lives. This can only be found via the knowledge, understanding and foresight that the amount of hours spent in the decaying office parks of America do not equal doing great work. I know plenty of people who think they are fooling us. They show up first at the office and make sure that everyone knows that they were there the latest. These people are only fooling themselves. They are doing nothing original.

Not A Utopian Idea

A few decades ago this may have been a Utopian or even radical thought. But today it is just common sense. As we evolve as people we are beginning to realize the amount of stress that we take on through our careers. A major portion of this is from commuting to and from an office complex when we have all the tools that we need at home. As a proud member of the ROWE movement (Results Oriented Work Environment) ROWE , I am shocked that more people don’t work towards the goals of ROWE.
ROWE boils down to that fact that you are paid for the work that you do – your performance – not for the hours that you clock into an office.
One of my personal goals is to start to convince my current and/or future employers why coming into the office even four days a week is excessive for individuals who have proven their loyalty and dedication to their work.

Why People Don’t Get It

I think that there are common misconceptions that people have with the term; working from home:
Working From Home Doesn’t = Hate: Working from home does not mean that you hate your job, your office, your coworkers, or responsibilities. It just means that you would prefer more flexibility balancing your work and your personal life.
Abuse By Others: Putting “Air Quotes” around it when you say you are “working from home” is just about the dumbest thing a person can do. It makes you look like a total slacker and people pretty much assume that you don’t have a work ethic and just watch TV all day when you are working from home. But even worse, you ruin the experience and reputation of working from home for all of us who actually are more productive in the home office.
Jealously: Working from home is not for everyone. Doctors and nurses for instance would have trouble working from home all the time. Others are not dedicated enough and shouldn’t be working from home until they have learned to manage their workloads on their own without being told what to do. It is also difficult to work from home when you are in industries like retail and hospitality. However, for people in many office based industries it is not only a great option it is also an effective and smart move for companies.
It is Not A Day Off!: A common misconception about working from home is that it is a “day off”. There is nothing further from the truth than this statement. If anything you have to work harder on days that you work from home, because people are watching and waiting for you to screw up.

Why WFH Works For The Employee

1) Working From Home is a statement from your employer, that they believe that you are doing a great job and want to see you become even more productive.
2) Eliminates stress. Not having to commute and sit in traffic to get to an office will most likely add years to your life and make you enjoying your work even more.
3) WFH allows you to multitask and do house chores like laundry, running the dishwasher, and more while working, which gives you more time for living life.
4) Many who work from home claim to have less distractions. Think of all the times people pop into your office, just to chat about the weekend or what’s new. This is eliminated when we are working from home and it makes you more productive.
5) More time to take care of yourself and your families. Our schedules are more flexible to take care of ourselves and our families (parents, children, partners, grandparents) and to go see the doctors when needed.
6) Salaried employees don’t punch a clock. Yet, so many employers are still judging their work based on the time that they spend in the office. This must change and we know it.
7) Technology allows us to communicate with team members and perform our work just as effective as when we are in the office.

Why WFH Is Smart For Employers

1) Happy and healthy. Employees feel true and earned respect for their employers for allowing them to have a chance at a happier and healthier life.
2) Increases loyalty. Employees who have been waiting for better times to make moves with their careers are starting to do so. WFH increases loyalty for employees that the company wishes to retain.
3) Office space and equipment are expensive. Most employees would be willing to use their own phones and own computers for the opportunity to work from home full time or the majority of the time. This cuts down on the costs for the company.
4) The technology has arrived. There are no longer excuses to not be able to WFH. Employees can call or Skype into meetings. We are in constant communication with coworkers with instant message tools like Skype, gchat, AOL or others. Email allows us to work from any location on the planet. Most IT directors can set employees up with remote access to the company’s servers.
5) Be progressive. Companies that have employees who work remotely are viewed as progressive and living in the current times, instead of set in the stone ages. You will attract better, stronger employees with a WFH policy.
6) Healthier employees that have the time to take care of their health are more valuable to companies than sick employees.

Are you Ready for Working From Home? Find out by continuing to read the rest of this article RIGHT NOW at Continue Reading Article .

Another Way To Look At Things

By Jim Calder

Do you have trouble focusing? Find that you are staying up later and later on the computer? Feel like you can never just focus your attention on one thing or project? The solution is simple, turn all your shit off permanently and go see a doctor. However, if this is too extreme for you, you could just read this blog and see a new way of looking at things.

I am technologically overstimulated.

Thanks to modern technology I have the attention span that is the size of a gnat. I had a half-day at work today and planned on working on a freelance project but as usual I got sucked into many, many things. My work email, Facebook, Facebook Chat, a Youtube video or 10, Gmail, Gchat, organizing my Google docs, Blackberry Messenger, Texts, and so on.

I find some evenings I am online for hours and have lost focus. I yearn for the days before my day when people sat in half lit rooms smoking and drinking whiskey while slowly typing ideas on a typewriter. Think of all the “boxes of failed ideas” that existed on hard paper somewhere in the rooms of the past. Ideas must have been more valuable back then, more rare. They weren’t just tweeted, posted on Facebook or emailed out without thinking them through.

Just as my attention span was about to rip me from this google doc that I am typing this blog in, a brave new thought hit me.

What if our “modern Technology” – especially the virtual chats – equals today’s version of “boxes of failed ideas”? Today, we hash and flush out our ideas with others instead of forming the ideas in quiet rooms on our own. We run our ideas past small focus groups consisting of family, friends, coworkers, and even strangers with similar interests.

Ideas kept to yourself will never thrive. Share them and grow them with others.

PS: Don’t fear the boxes of failed ideas, they are your biggest asset.

Jim Calder is the brand architect and co-founder of ProLong Magazine. Jim was born with the perfect combination of cockiness and self consciousness. He has over 10 years of publishing industry experience and lives and works in Philadelphia, Pa. Jim strongly believes that the current 9-5 Monday-Friday format of “Work” is dying. Those that refuse to recognize this will be left behind in the decaying office complexes across America. He currently can be found on the greatest adventure of his life as a newlywed with his wife Melissa. Jim can be contacted via email at jim@prolongmagazine.com

By Jim Calder

I am in the construction business, and have been for several years now. I don’t physically build houses, buildings, roads, etc. What I have been trying to build—or better yet to help build—are people. On our team, the “construction people” we believe that the more people that do well increases our chances for growing and doing well ourselves. This is not rocket science, it just makes sense.In fact it isn’t a new idea either, but it is good to be reminded of it often.

Qualities of the Construction People

-We take the time to lend advice.
-We take the time to give feedback.
-We take the time to lend our knowledge.
-We offer resources when we can.
-We encourage and give positive support.
-We realize that we can learn from watching others do well.
-We realize that everything in life does not have to be a big competition.
-We are teachers and learners.
-We embrace failure, but more importantly learn from it.
-We care.

The Demo Business

On the other side of the spectrum are the people in the demoing business.They rip people down whenever they see an opportunity. In this quick life we all will come across far too many in the demoing business. Sometimes it can take form of people who are scared individuals snickering and casting doubt about your new business venture. They may say how it will fail, they may say that you won’t find revenue, and they may say you don’t know what you are doing. I don’t know why, when, or how these people choose to go into the demoing business, but somewhere they make a clear choice.
It is sad and it is just plain lazy to be in the demo business, and perhaps that is what makes it so easy for some.

The Mind Set of a Loser

If you constantly go around bashing other people’s ideas, hopes, and dreams you are really kind of a scum bag. These people are tricking their own minds, by justifying the fact that they are lazy and don’t want to try and do something extraordinary with their lives themselves. They think to themselves … these people are all failing, so I won’t even try … because I am afraid of failure. These people route for failure by others to confirm their own doubts.
I say that failure should be worn as a badge of honor. If you are not failing you are not taking risks. If you are not failing, you are not doing anything worth talking about. If you are paralyzed by the fear of failure you are most likely only doing enough to get by, enough to please the boss, and enough to stay unoriginal forever.

The Rewards of a Builder

Yes, it takes a lot more energy to be a builder. But the rewards are also much greater. The next time you hear someone is starting something, building something from scratch, really think about it before you judge. Before the instinctual negative words of doubt come flowing from your mouth, do us all a favor and take a step back. Take a moment of reflection and and inner look at your soul and guts and think about why you are about to spew negativity into someone’s world. It just may change your life.

Jim Calder is the brand architect and co-founder of ProLong Magazine. Jim was born with the perfect combination of cockiness and self consciousness. He has over 10 years of publishing industry experience and lives and works in Philadelphia, Pa. Jim strongly believes that the current 9-5 Monday-Friday format of “Work” is dying. Those that refuse to recognize this will be left behind in the decaying office complexes across America. He currently can be found on the greatest adventure of his life as a newlywed with his wife Melissa. Jim can be contacted via email at jim@prolongmagazine.com

The Age of the Worker

By Jim Calder

We live in a new age. An age where the worker is valued above all else. For years companies have devalued you as the employee by cutting your pay, increasing your hours, freezing your salary all in the name of the economy and more. That day is over friends. An individual today has extreme power. We have access to tools that previously were only available to a company with resources. We can create and build on our own, and that by nature is a threat to “the old way of thinking about work”.

We are motivated to succeed, for ourselves and for our families. We don’t respond well to fear tactics, and if exposed to them for too long, we move on. All because we realize that life is too short and we are too valuable. We learn new skills for the benefit of ourselves and our careers, before someone has to tell or ask us to do so. We value other things besides our salaries, such as working from home. The Internet has made us versatile. We teach ourselves to do almost anything with the help of our friends Google and YouTube.

Managers may still treat you like a cog that can be replaced. However, you are the one allowing them to do so. You are an individual with unique skills that you have learned and own, so be proud of it. Companies that refuse to change will be left in the past with the rest of the dinosaurs. Companies that only offer you the fear of losing your job as motivation have no place in today’s marketplace. Fear is not a motivation tool, it is a weak sign of a weaker foundation of a company, corporation or business. Advanced companies are well aware of this and making changes.

At your next review instead of joining the ongoing cycle and defending why you deserve your job, ask yourself this:
-Why does your company deserve to have YOU as an employee?
-What has your company done for YOU?
-Why is this company worth YOUR time, YOUR hours, a large portion of YOUR life?
-How has this company showed ME that they value the work that I am doing?

The message is spreading and quickly. ROWE (Results-Only Work Environment) is a human resource management strategy. This progressive movement was co-created by Jody Thompson and Cali Ressler (pictured above) and thrives on the theory that employees are paid for results (output) rather than the amount of hours one works.Their idea has been adapted by large American retails such as Best Buy, Gap, and other companies. This duo has created their own consulting group called CultureRx and their message is selling.

Not enough evidence that this way of working will work? Let me leave you with this inspiring video from the TED conference.

Jim Calder is the brand architect and co-founder of ProLong Magazine. Jim was born with the perfect combination of cockiness and self consciousness. He has over 10 years of publishing industry experience and lives and works in Philadelphia, Pa. He currently can be found on the greatest adventure of his life as a newlywed with his wife Melissa. Jim can be contacted via email at jim@prolongmagazine.com

Robert J. Ottaviani

We should all be serving a sentence for committing a heinous crime on the English language. We have blatantly over used, over exaggerated and over indulged ourselves with a misappropriation of words, phrases, and slang. We are guilty as charged. All of us! Let’s take a look at some misguided verbiage we have come to accept as normal repartee.

ROFL … Rollin on the floor laughing … I don’t know about the rest of you but maybe once in my lifetime I have seen people Rollin on the floor laughing and the combination of alcohol and a wicked sense of humor were directly involved. The fact that it is written and nausea points out the fact that it is entirely out of text. There’s no one on the floor and quite frankly there’s a good chance of a lack of laughter also. I’m thinking the person authoring that text is probably just smiling. So maybe next time try something more appropriate like … SAL (smiling a lot).

LMAO … laughing my ass off … Again with the laughter. ROFL ’s little cousin but not as severe or intense. First of all nobody is laughing their ass off and if they did they can only do it once. It doesn’t grow back or regenerate so once it’s off it’s off for good. A word of caution for all you LMAO ers . If I were you I would take precaution with what you give away so freely. You may eventually find yourself ROFL and you’ll wish you hadn’t laughed it off.

TALK TO THE HAND … I don’t why, where or when this little catch phrase started but I knew immediately I didn’t like it. Thankfully it’s popularity has waned greatly but in it’s heyday it was a force to be reckoned with. The most alarming aspect of it all was the fact that a vast majority of adults were using it as well. It was dismissive and abrupt. IT was really FU wrapped in a cuddly blanket. I know this much,if I had used it on my dad the only person I’d be talking to would be Jesus asking him to take the pain away.

TOO BUSY … I know your thinking this isn’t slang and you would be entirely right but it is used often in the wrong context. There are seven days a week,twenty four hours a day and three hundred and sixty five days in a year. Let’s be honest with ourselves, what we are really saying is I don’t want to take the time to call or see or do what it is were avoiding. We always seem to make time for what we truly want. Hopefully were not TOO BUSY when that special person really needs us.

BABY MOMMY/BABY DADDY … When did we become blithering idiots that allowed this vernacular to be part of our social fabric. Apparently perpetuating booty calls,DNA tests and absent parenting is good business. Just because Jerry Springer and Maury Povich are sell-in doesn’t mean we have to be buy-in. Hearing these words makes me grind my teeth and they sound as silly as the person saying them. I got a word for you,even two … Mom/Dad … it never gets old.

“DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS *****?” … Proceed with extreme caution. This is strictly a rhetorical question and does not,repeat does not require an answer. Quickly and gently steer the conversation to a safer subject like politics or religion. Do not smile, do not offer an opinion even in a positive manner as all things could be misconstrued at this particular time. An answer or response is not what is being sought here. Treat as a crime scene, see the police tape and give a lot of room.

WHATEVER … Quite possibly the phrase that rankles me the most and challenges my blood pressure levels as well. This one word interjection brings your conversation to a screeching halt. It is usually said with a bit of a lilt and a dash of attitude. Indifference be thy name. Kick my dog, track mud through my house, downsize my job just refrain from using that eight letter word with me.

Robert J. Ottaviani (Bert) is a cusp born Aries the ram who has lived through summer of love in the late sixties and the hippie culture that bled into the seventies. He has a passion for music, gardening and all things nature … and laffy taffy. He is freakishly aware of music trivia to absurd levels. Most days you can find him playing his guitar or jotting down lyrics. He was so impacted from the moment he first heard the Beatles that he has Beatle manianized his life, been to Liverpool, England and remains convinced he is the fifth Beatle . He is married to a gentle and lovely vibe of a woman with three wonderful children. He currently lives and resides in strawberry fields forever.

By Jim Calder

Have you ever had a bad boss? No, I mean a really bad boss. A boss that would micromanage you because she didn’t know how to run the department. A boss who whispers, whines and talks in circles. A boss who only cares about how many hours you spend in the office and not how much work you produce and how many innovative ideas you bring to the table.
My former boss at my last job was hands down the worst boss that I have ever witnessed in 10 years of publishing. The ironic part is that she was in charge of running two magazines about the publishing industry. There were many negatives while working under her leadership but over the years I have found that it is extremely unhealthy to focus on the negatives. It may be our most valuable gift as human beings, the ability to learn from past experiences, take it in and make internal changes to better oneself.

Here are some lessons that I discovered and learned during that negative phase of my career.

1) The details matter. Sometimes we are so focused on the big picture, the exciting “what comes next” part, that we gloss over the details of producing the best current project.

2) Content is not just articles. It is anything that deals with your brand. Discussion boards, comments on article pages, social networking, video, podcasts, and more. A true brand leader will take ownership of all content that the brand produces.

3) If I don’t stay up to date on technology I will be irrelevant in 5 years.

4) You can’t take on others’ anxiety. It is not yours and should be non transferable. I am an individual and I deal with stress in different ways. If someone on my team is freaking out, running up and down the hallways and asking why everyone else is not as freaked out as she is, I can not solve her problem for her.

5) Just because someone is in a leadership position, it does not mean that they know how to deal with people.

6) Bad time management is a cancer. Stay away from it because it will inevitably spread down to you.

7) Being a Manager is not the same as a leader. People can manage a team but it takes true innovator to become a leader.

Jim Calder is the brand architect and co-founder of ProLong Magazine. Jim was born with the perfect combination of cockiness and self consciousness. He has over 10 years of publishing industry experience and lives and works in Philadelphia, Pa. He currently can be found on the greatest adventure of his life as a newlywed with his wife Melissa. Jim can be contacted via email at jim@prolongmagazine.com

By Jim Calder

Anyone can have ideas. Many are fooled into thinking that just coming up with an idea is the hard work, when in reality it is the easiest part. I just had an idea for a screenplay. It is about a relationship between a man and his cat. It is a dark emotional story. I see something like the man and his girlfriend adopt the cat together, all sorts of events happen with the cat in the scenes. Then something happens between the couple that changes things. Someone cheats, the wife is in a horrible accident, etc. The man is alone and depressed and drinking away his sorrows. He is about to commit suicide when the cat brings some lost toy he forgot about out from no where and drops it at his feet. The man puts the gun down and decides to live.

In the right hands this could be a an Oscar Award winning film if someone really put the time in to develop the story line, characters and plot. With performances as bad as Sandra Bullock’s in The Blind Side, this is not that far off. But it will almost certainly never happen in my hands.

A true aspect of a creative innovative person that you want on your team is someone who is capable of saying no. This person recognizes when a project is not right for their hands.

I see it every day when someone has a great idea for a huge revenue generating project. They put the wrong person in charge. The wrong person is too afraid of loosing their job to say no. They take on the project and almost always will fail.

Getting back to the crazy man and cat tale with the twisted attempted suicide ending; it is not that I am afraid to dedicate the time needed for writing a screenplay. I have actually authored 2 screenplays in the last 10 years that I have never managed to get past the final editing stages. The important point here is that I have the ability in myself to recognize that screenwriting is not what I am best at. I know a successful screenwriter and I know the hours and dedication it takes him to craft a successful story that stands out above the rest. It consumes his life.

The next time your boss approaches you with an idea of a project that you absolutely know that your talents are not suited for, simply say that you feel that someone else on the team would be better at leading a project like this and that you would be more qualified for A,B, and or C type projects. If someone fired me for an honest problem solving answer like that I would not want to work for that company and would want out as fast as possible.

Saying no, will save you valuable time and energy for the right projects when you find them.

Jim Calder is the brand architect and co-founder of ProLong Magazine. Jim was born with the perfect combination of cockiness and self consciousness. He has over 10 years of publishing industry experience and lives and works in Philadelphia, Pa. He currently can be found on the greatest adventure of his life as a newlywed with his wife Melissa. Jim can be contacted via email at jim@prolongmagazine.com

By Jim Calder

I am recommitting myself this week.
Not to a church, a school or a person but to the art of blogging. I was born a writer and I hope to be remembered as one someday. A new mini goal of mine is to blog on a regular basis. I feel that it is fitting that my first “new blog entry” in this journey is a mini interview with someone that I consider a guru and innovator of the blog format.



Seth Godin is a marketing guru, best selling author, highly acclaimed public speaker whose many highlights include being asked to speak to the employees at Google. Seth has the number one visited marketing blog Seth’s Blog.
I visit it at least once a day and always take something away from reading. From an outsider’s view I consider Seth’s bog the corner stone of what he does. I see his blog as his playground, where he flushes out his best ideas.

Seth has authored two of my favorite books The Dip and Tribes . I look forward to reading his latest book Linchpin .

I recently interviewed Seth and asked for some insight and advice for our ProLong readers in the area of career. I am thrilled to report that he was happy to help out despite his extremely busy schedule. This alone has been motivation for me to commit to the art of blogging. In my first official new blog era please enjoy these responses from SethGodin.

ProLong Magazine: With all that you are doing, do you have any advice for our readers in the area of attempting to balance your work and your personal life?
Seth Godin: Factory work is work where a manager tells you what to do and you get paid (ultimately) by the hour. If you do this work and you want to get ahead, then you have little chance of also finding balance.
On the other hand, if you can make the brave decision to do art, to choose your own path, to create a career filled with meaning and insight, then balance is no real problem.
So, if it’s a problem, look at the core decision that’s driving it.

ProLong Magazine: A common theme in your writing is doing things that are not just satisfying the status quo. Please tell our readers why they should never be satisfied with the status quo?
Seth Godin: The status quo is average, and leaves little room for you to break through, to have real impact and to stand out. Big change brings big opportunity, no? It feels risky to do this, but in fact it’s the safest path you can take.

ProLong Magazine: Many people judge the value of their life based on the impact that they have had in their career. Do you believe that this is a good quality for a strong career or bad and why?
Seth Godin: I think there are many valid ways to live a valuable life, and the thing is to not give someone you don’t respect permission to be the judge of it.

ProLong Magazine: Do you believe that Mentors are important?
Seth Godin: Mentors are overrated, and the idea of finding some stranger or near stranger to sign up to be your mentor is nuts. In my experience, when you find someone who is teaching life lessons as a matter of course, stand near them, listen to them and work harder than you feel you can to learn those lessons. But no need to make it official.

ProLong Magazine: Do you have any quick advice for people who will inevitably have to deal with a bad boss at some point in their career … someone who refuses to embrace change?
Seth Godin:
1. They’re probably not as bad as you think.
2. if they are, leave.

Jim Calder is the brand architect and co-founder of ProLong Magazine. Jim was born with the perfect combination of cockiness and self consciousness. He has over 10 years of publishing industry experience and lives and works in Philadelphia, Pa. He currently can be found on the greatest adventure of his life as a newlywed with his wife Melissa. Jim can be contacted via email at jim@prolongmagazine.com

By David Yancy Kang

I heard a piece on NPR the other day about a new documentary of Bill Withers, the soul artist. There was an excerpt from this documentary that included an interview with him that really has stuck with me since I heard it. It goes like this: “One of the things I always tell my kids is that it’s OK to head out for wonderful, but on your way to wonderful, you’re gonna have to pass through all right. When you get to all right, take a good look around and get used to it, because that may be as far as you’re gonna go.”

In some ways, that’s the most depressing thing you’ll ever hear; but at the same time, it couldn’t be more true.

Let me explain. I was born in 1980, which places me in a group known as the ‘Millenials’. If you’ve never heard of the ‘Millenials’, we’re regarded as ‘trophy kids’. We collectively were born and raised being told we’re the best. We got awards for participating. We’re all somehow above average, and we’re all winners. We have extremely high expectations in life whether personally or in the workplace. We have an affinity for electronics, we know how to use computers. We own facebook. Our primary communication is the text message. We expect a more casual work environment. We’re socially and environmentally conscious.

In short, we’re a bunch of total ingrates.

When I was a kid, I had dreams of an amazing life. I would be a millionaire playboy. I would be Senator or I would be Gordon fucking Gecko. I would wear a suit and tie every day. I would be filthy stinking rich and I wouldn’t have to do anything to get there. I would be important – I would buy and sell human lives. Everything seemed so easy to me, how could I possibly fail? High school went the same way – I excelled at a lot of things without really trying, and had a whole lot of fun. I was heading to the college I wanted to go to, which I picked because it was a party school. Success was imminent, why should I try? I was on my way to wonderful – see if you can stop me.

Gradually, my expectations eroded. I found myself failing everything. I was partying too much and not doing any work because I thought that some magic would happen. Someone would come by and just hand me an incredible job.

I spent most of the time drinking, playing video games, working in various bars and restaurants, eating junk food, and being a flat out waste of life. I barely graduated. In my final semester, I didn’t bother signing up for the graduation ceremony because I wasn’t sure I was going to get the necessary C in Accounting 360 that was the only barrier between me and a diploma. I went to the Outer Banks instead that week – to have my sister log in to my school account to get my grades for me and tell me over the phone if I finished college or not. You get the idea.

I spent the next year after graduating in my college town, still working at a bar and a restaurant, living as I saw it ‘the life’. It was great – spent a lot of time around attractive young people that had nothing to do but wait tables and party. At the same time, I barely made enough to pay rent. I worked every single day, weekends and holidays. No days off, no vacations, no benefits of any kind. Still, it was a lot of fun.

Everything changed when I received a phone call from an old friend that I’ve known since grade school that technically didn’t even finish high school. I found out that he was making more than twice as much as me at a temp job. I felt humiliated. I re-assessed my life and thought about where I was vs. where I thought I’d be. I thought that I should have my first exotic car by now, dammit.

Within a month, I was moved back home with mom and dad. I got myself a temp job and waited tables on the side. I was looking for a ‘real job’ but coming up empty. No one wants to look at a resume that’s got nothing but pushing pilsners and slinging plates. Every day, berated by overachieving Korean parents for being a failure. So much for wonderful.

Then, I lucked out – a college buddy of mine was leaving his post at a tiny company outside of Philadelphia and they needed a replacement. They told me they would pay me a salary, which to me at the time was an ungodly amount of money. They told me I would not be working on weekends. They told me I would be getting health insurance, dental, vision benefits. PAID VACATIONS. I had NO IDEA THAT THESE EXISTED.

I was floored. I was in a daze, I couldn’t believe I was being handed all of this. In hindsight, I know now what they offered me is pretty standard in a ‘real job’. The pay actually was extremely low, but I didn’t know any better. The place was a complete dump – it was an industrial shop/garage and the office was just converted from half the building. It smelled perpetually like gasoline and God knows what other chemical fumes. It was loud. People wore t-shirts, jeans, sweatpants, sneakers, hats, whatever. Every other word was ‘fuck’ and they were always shouting at each other. Home sweet home.

I spent about three years at that job; then switched to a much larger, more ‘corporate’ company. It was a gorgeous office, new everything, clean. There were windows. People were more professional, polite, didn’t wear sweatpants or even jeans, and the company obviously had a lot of money. The transition was night and day. Something was broken? Go buy a new one, don’t sit there with a soldering iron trying to fix it. Need some equipment? No need to scour eBay; we’ll just get it from whomever can get it to us the fastest. Incredible.
The job was more like eight-hour social time when I was actually in the office; I was traveling all over the country the rest of the time. I was getting what I needed to get done finished, but finding a moment or two to check out local breweries, bars, whatever. Overall, I probably spent more time hanging out with my coworkers than actually working. It was totally cushy. All that stuff that shocked me back then was standard. I was alright, but somehow still really dissatisfied. I wanted more.

I ended up realizing there was nowhere further for me to go, so I took a friend up on a lark really, and applied for a recently vacated spot at his company. I started gathering reasons to leave, inflating everything I sort of disliked into raw hatred and evil. I would be making a big chunk of change more and I would be in charge of the department. It would be MY SHOW. My own office, my own everything. It would be wonderful. Funny how the definition changes over time. A while ago, I believed I should’ve had my first vacation home by now.

I got the job, so, I made the move after two years with my last company. I won’t get into any detail about my job now, but I’ll put it this way: it’s not exactly what I was expecting. At all.

I’m not saying I’ve given up – I know that’s what it sounds like. It’s just that I’m not where I thought I would be when I was younger, when I was feisty and full of vim and vigor. I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone in this feeling, but it still stings. I’m at Plan D or E… maybe even F. It makes me think of a conversation I had with a college friend some time ago, and we talked about ‘potential’. She said to me ‘Kang, you’ve never been anything more than potential’. Brutal. I suppose in a lot of ways, she’s right. We can’t all be above average. There are a lot of people out there, and in order to be above average, there have to be a whole lot of people that are average. Chances are, you are one of them, despite what you’ve been told and more importantly what you think about yourself. Not happy with this new? Do something about it and prove me wrong.

Or, learn to be satisfied if not happy with where you are even if you think it sucks. Other people have it a lot worse. It’s still okay to shoot for the stars, but don’t become embittered and consumed by hate because you failed to achieve what you wanted in life.

I guess my point is that I’m all right. And I’m taking a good look around me and getting used to it.

David Yancy Kang is 29 and not in the best shape of his life. This could be attributed to a lack of Bowflex, perhaps not. He works in IT; which likely has more to do with the previous statement than anything else. In his free time, he enjoys brewing beer, drinking said beer, and will occasionally actually finish a book but is predominantly a video game junkie. Other hobbies include running up small nation’s defense budgets in bar tabs, neat Macallan, cigars he can’t afford, having a laugh, cooking, and preparing for the zombie apocalypse. He currently resides in the Philadelphia area with his wife who is amazingly supportive of all his dumb ideas; as well as his two cats Roxy and Hiroshi and zero children.