The Working From Home Lifestyle Revolution

By Jim Calder

My wife woke up recently and said, “Wouldn’t it be great if we just had to wake up and walk downstairs to work? Think of all the time we would save, we could shower at lunch and wouldn’t have to spend an hour getting ready in the morning,” she said. “We wouldn’t each have to drive two hours every weekday.”
Just a few days later I was facing an hour and a half ride into work (my usual commute is only an hour each way) because of heavy rains. The horrible commute got me thinking, why don’t more people and more companies embrace the Work from Home (WFH) lifestyle?

My Manifesto

Most of the people that I know who seem to love their jobs also seem to be working from home. Some own their own business, others work from home full time, and others work from home only once a week. I currently work for an employer that gives me clearance to work from home once a week.
The common thread is the ability to balance our busy lives while merging our careers with our personal lives. This can only be found via the knowledge, understanding and foresight that the amount of hours spent in the decaying office parks of America do not equal doing great work. I know plenty of people who think they are fooling us. They show up first at the office and make sure that everyone knows that they were there the latest. These people are only fooling themselves. They are doing nothing original.

Not A Utopian Idea

A few decades ago this may have been a Utopian or even radical thought. But today it is just common sense. As we evolve as people we are beginning to realize the amount of stress that we take on through our careers. A major portion of this is from commuting to and from an office complex when we have all the tools that we need at home. As a proud member of the ROWE movement (Results Oriented Work Environment) ROWE , I am shocked that more people don’t work towards the goals of ROWE.
ROWE boils down to that fact that you are paid for the work that you do – your performance – not for the hours that you clock into an office.
One of my personal goals is to start to convince my current and/or future employers why coming into the office even four days a week is excessive for individuals who have proven their loyalty and dedication to their work.

Why People Don’t Get It

I think that there are common misconceptions that people have with the term; working from home:
Working From Home Doesn’t = Hate: Working from home does not mean that you hate your job, your office, your coworkers, or responsibilities. It just means that you would prefer more flexibility balancing your work and your personal life.
Abuse By Others: Putting “Air Quotes” around it when you say you are “working from home” is just about the dumbest thing a person can do. It makes you look like a total slacker and people pretty much assume that you don’t have a work ethic and just watch TV all day when you are working from home. But even worse, you ruin the experience and reputation of working from home for all of us who actually are more productive in the home office.
Jealously: Working from home is not for everyone. Doctors and nurses for instance would have trouble working from home all the time. Others are not dedicated enough and shouldn’t be working from home until they have learned to manage their workloads on their own without being told what to do. It is also difficult to work from home when you are in industries like retail and hospitality. However, for people in many office based industries it is not only a great option it is also an effective and smart move for companies.
It is Not A Day Off!: A common misconception about working from home is that it is a “day off”. There is nothing further from the truth than this statement. If anything you have to work harder on days that you work from home, because people are watching and waiting for you to screw up.

Why WFH Works For The Employee

1) Working From Home is a statement from your employer, that they believe that you are doing a great job and want to see you become even more productive.
2) Eliminates stress. Not having to commute and sit in traffic to get to an office will most likely add years to your life and make you enjoying your work even more.
3) WFH allows you to multitask and do house chores like laundry, running the dishwasher, and more while working, which gives you more time for living life.
4) Many who work from home claim to have less distractions. Think of all the times people pop into your office, just to chat about the weekend or what’s new. This is eliminated when we are working from home and it makes you more productive.
5) More time to take care of yourself and your families. Our schedules are more flexible to take care of ourselves and our families (parents, children, partners, grandparents) and to go see the doctors when needed.
6) Salaried employees don’t punch a clock. Yet, so many employers are still judging their work based on the time that they spend in the office. This must change and we know it.
7) Technology allows us to communicate with team members and perform our work just as effective as when we are in the office.

Why WFH Is Smart For Employers

1) Happy and healthy. Employees feel true and earned respect for their employers for allowing them to have a chance at a happier and healthier life.
2) Increases loyalty. Employees who have been waiting for better times to make moves with their careers are starting to do so. WFH increases loyalty for employees that the company wishes to retain.
3) Office space and equipment are expensive. Most employees would be willing to use their own phones and own computers for the opportunity to work from home full time or the majority of the time. This cuts down on the costs for the company.
4) The technology has arrived. There are no longer excuses to not be able to WFH. Employees can call or Skype into meetings. We are in constant communication with coworkers with instant message tools like Skype, gchat, AOL or others. Email allows us to work from any location on the planet. Most IT directors can set employees up with remote access to the company’s servers.
5) Be progressive. Companies that have employees who work remotely are viewed as progressive and living in the current times, instead of set in the stone ages. You will attract better, stronger employees with a WFH policy.
6) Healthier employees that have the time to take care of their health are more valuable to companies than sick employees.

Are you Ready for Working From Home? Find out by continuing to read the rest of this article RIGHT NOW at Continue Reading Article .

By Jim Calder

Anyone can have ideas. Many are fooled into thinking that just coming up with an idea is the hard work, when in reality it is the easiest part. I just had an idea for a screenplay. It is about a relationship between a man and his cat. It is a dark emotional story. I see something like the man and his girlfriend adopt the cat together, all sorts of events happen with the cat in the scenes. Then something happens between the couple that changes things. Someone cheats, the wife is in a horrible accident, etc. The man is alone and depressed and drinking away his sorrows. He is about to commit suicide when the cat brings some lost toy he forgot about out from no where and drops it at his feet. The man puts the gun down and decides to live.

In the right hands this could be a an Oscar Award winning film if someone really put the time in to develop the story line, characters and plot. With performances as bad as Sandra Bullock’s in The Blind Side, this is not that far off. But it will almost certainly never happen in my hands.

A true aspect of a creative innovative person that you want on your team is someone who is capable of saying no. This person recognizes when a project is not right for their hands.

I see it every day when someone has a great idea for a huge revenue generating project. They put the wrong person in charge. The wrong person is too afraid of loosing their job to say no. They take on the project and almost always will fail.

Getting back to the crazy man and cat tale with the twisted attempted suicide ending; it is not that I am afraid to dedicate the time needed for writing a screenplay. I have actually authored 2 screenplays in the last 10 years that I have never managed to get past the final editing stages. The important point here is that I have the ability in myself to recognize that screenwriting is not what I am best at. I know a successful screenwriter and I know the hours and dedication it takes him to craft a successful story that stands out above the rest. It consumes his life.

The next time your boss approaches you with an idea of a project that you absolutely know that your talents are not suited for, simply say that you feel that someone else on the team would be better at leading a project like this and that you would be more qualified for A,B, and or C type projects. If someone fired me for an honest problem solving answer like that I would not want to work for that company and would want out as fast as possible.

Saying no, will save you valuable time and energy for the right projects when you find them.

Jim Calder is the brand architect and co-founder of ProLong Magazine. Jim was born with the perfect combination of cockiness and self consciousness. He has over 10 years of publishing industry experience and lives and works in Philadelphia, Pa. He currently can be found on the greatest adventure of his life as a newlywed with his wife Melissa. Jim can be contacted via email at jim@prolongmagazine.com

Giving Up the House Life for Apartment Living … Maybe

By Cynna Woo

When people are young many long to leave the city and save every dollar to get more space out in the burbs. Somewhere along the line, the goal may change.

Here it is a new year; as I was heading back to NJ after a much needed 10 day break for the holidays. One of the best perks of working in higher education is the time off at Christmas. Let’s not forget about the four day work week in the summer either, it is one of the reasons I applied for this position 65 miles from my home.

Now, we’re a two home couple, one is a big drafty house that could use updating after 22 years of fixing things mostly when they break. The other is a tiny condo with one bedroom, where I never lose things. However, the big house is jealous of the small house because it has the coveted walk-in closet.

This new year brings a new promotion for my husband and it has me thinking that I’ll be driving into this morning sun glare for some time yet. Plenty of time alone in my car to start constructing our plans for the future.

If he is going to stay in PA, I think I would like to sell the big house and move to a center city apartment.
An apartment!
My friends are already exclaiming, “Why would you throw your money away like that?”

I think that it would be nice to not be responsible for everything that breaks. I wouldn’t feel guilty for not “updating” the old house. My commute would be cut by a half hour and I could do it by train if needed. I think we could be OK with renting for a bit, I don’t want to jump right in and buy in the city. I need to know if city life is more fun and exciting or more expensive and dangerous. I also probably haven’t even thought about the expense or hassle of parking two cars in the city either. Still, I would like to be able to walk to dinner or a movie or even the theater, a wish common among other empty nesters.

Ah that word, empty nester, how it saddens me, although there’s really no reason to be sad. My children have been out of the house for quite some time now. In fact my son is planning home renovations of his own. How funny the words, “Everything costs so much,” are coming from his mouth. I think his bathroom will cost the same as our first house.

The time raising children is endless when you are going through it and looking back it went by far too quickly.

Almost to work, and I can’t wait to see that Galloway Wawa, with the gas price twenty cents cheaper than PA. This week I’ll be facing re-admit students. These are students who left college a few years ago or sometimes a decade ago. They’ll be surprised if they have more classes to go than they thought. It’s funny how one remembers needing only a few courses to graduate when a few may be a year or more of academic work. But I’m glad they’re coming; it keeps me in business.

The Commuter is a column by Cynna Woo. She has been commuting between South Jersey and the Philadelphia suburbs for the last four years. When she first landed her great job as an academic advisor in N.J. she did not mind the drive. But, driving 65 miles one way grew old very fast. She shortened the drive time by buying a condo in Smithville, NJ. She now lives like a single person during the week and commutes to her “big house” and husband of 35 years, on the weekends. She would like to share her commuter musings, while driving. She will actually write them down when she gets home, because she hasn’t perfected writing while driving quite yet. Cynna enjoys reviewing movies, show tunes, listening to Howard Stern, speaking in french, collecting mermaids, hiking, and spending quality time with her amazing family.

By Georgia Cameron

I admit it. I have a problem. When I look into the eyes of a dog or cat on death row, or one that happens to wind up at my back door looking for food, I can’t help but get involved. There’s an intrinsic high you get when you save something that is near death, and seeing them off to their new homes with people that love and cherish them makes me feel like a super hero. I can’t imagine a drug that feels this good; on every level I am tingling with master-of-the-universe like power. I just saved a life.

After several years of near bankruptcy because of my condition, a few girlfriends and I pitched together and started what was supposed to be a tax umbrella and a little help for the vet care we put into our strays. Within three years we had grown to a point that was beyond a combined addiction – it was sheer insanity. With only 6 real volunteers and 4 foster homes, we managed to save over 220 animals in 2009. Of that number, more than ¾ had been marked for euthanasia at municipal shelters either because of space constraints or because they had failed behavioral tests. What makes our rescue different is that one of our founders is a professional dog trainer; we combine training into every single aspect of the rescue experience. Our dogs are rehabilitated from the ground up, and where once stood a terrified Chihuahua that would try and bite is now a happy family dog that enjoys hugs from children.

There are varying levels of rescue addiction. Some people watch Craigslist; others forward emails, some occasionally foster. Then there are the full blown addicts who are just crazy enough to try and start an actual organization dedicated to saving these animals. You are in a whole new territory when people are contacting you directly to save a dog they saw tied to a stop sign – and you actually go pick it up.

There is a lot of learning when you first start a rescue. Effectively filing your 501 application is no small feat, and finding ways to raise funds and stick to a budget is just as difficult. You will fight amongst yourselves, but in the end you’ll realize it takes the group effort to make a true rescue succeed, not just one individual.

Your personal life will suffer. Only a compassionate partner will understand when you have to skip a romantic dinner date so you can crawl through the mud, trapping kittens under an abandoned house that’s about to be torn down. You will reach points of sheer exhaustion, but you somehow manage to carry on (although not always coherently).

You will spar with your supporters. Some think you are miracle workers, others see you as paper pushers who just make the process more difficult with reference checks and adoption fees. You will quickly realize who your true friends are – the ones that will listen to your crazy stories and let you cry on their shoulder when you have a melt down. They also forward your frantic emails looking for homes when you get in 5 death-row dogs in one day, and somehow also managed to find a stray on the side of the road.

Your outer self may seem more tired, more world weary, and more jaded. You’ll have scars from bites, scratches and random accidents, and you’ll get more than one tetanus shot. Like a used car salesman you will start plugging your adoptable animals to everyone you know or meet. Yet the biggest change will come from within.

Your inner self, the one you know so intimately and can count on to act rationally, becomes like a lightning rod and occasionally a stranger. You will begin to feel the power of the universe as it moves through you, putting you in places at times that can’t be coincidence. You experience miracles that take your breath away. You will do things that sane people would walk away from, but you somehow embrace with the passion of a person who can see the difference they are making in the world.

In a short amount of time, you will become as one who does not feel complete if they aren’t juggling 20 balls at once. The people at PetSmart will know you by name, and your friends will begin to include veterinarians, animal control officers, and those similarly afflicted. You will love and hate the animals you save. You will fall to your knees in near ecstasy when that black mutt that’s been in your program for nearly a year smiles at you as he’s walked out the door by his new owners. You will cry when the dog that was dumped at the kill shelter for having cancer loses her battle, asleep on your bed. But you will thank the powers that be that you get to participate in this crazy ride that is animal rescue, and feel blessed for the ups and downs that now mark your life.

I am a rescue addict, and I am proud to admit it. In fact, it’s the thing I am most proud of about my life. It makes me whole just as it tears me apart. My inner-me has never been so lovely, just as my outer me has never had such a messy house or so many scars. But to save the life of a deserving animal, and give it a second chance, is the greatest accomplishment I can ever claim.

My name is Georgia Cameron, and I am the Vice President of a no-kill, non-breed specific animal rescue in Denver, Colorado. What started on a whim has turned into a full-time job and hobby. Check out NSC Rescue to learn about our organization and find out how you can get involved.

Become a fan of NSC Rescue on Facebook.




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Risking it all to find happiness

By Brianna Dean

Thanksgiving Day, 2009: I gazed out the window at the glare from snow-capped mountains and thought to myself, “Wow, it’s a great day to ski”. While sipping coffee, I threw on my usual ski gear and grabbed the twin-tip’s for a nice day of carving powder. The ride up the gondola to the base of Breckenridge Mountain was quieter than usual, but it didn’t seem to bother me. The view was remarkable. I adjusted my goggles and couldn’t think of a place I’d rather be at that moment. Let me take you back a few years…

Early April, 2007: It was a gloomy Sunday evening in Kansas City, Missouri and I had just walked in the door from my typical grocery store purchase: water, turkey, bread, saltine crackers, and a bottle of Pinot Grigio. The sun set behind overcast skies accentuating the already dreary day. After putting away the groceries I laid down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. It was 6:00pm. I had no roommate to converse with, no cable to fall asleep to. I could hear the clock ticking. Every tick was another wasted moment. It was almost time to crack open the wine and drink myself into a slumber.

I was dreading work the next day. 8 hours of staring out my office window toward the West hoping that if I tried hard enough, I would eventually see what I knew was on the other side of the Flint Hills of Kansas. On the other side sat the Rocky Mountains, the Grand Canyon, the San Marcos Mountains…even the beautiful Pacific Ocean that I once took advantage of while growing up in Southern California. I knew it was all there. So why wasn’t I? Why do I only visit these places and not live there, I thought? Why do I still live in a city that leaves me depressed and uncomfortable? What am I still doing here?

My mind started to wander and soon I found myself flooded with thoughts. I was mentally beating myself up for not making the proper changes in order to be happy. I was obviously depressed. Every Sunday was the same, every day of work was the same, every evening, morning, and minute was the same: lonely and repetitive. I started to feel anxiety take over when I asked myself one final question: “Am I so comfortable that I will do this the rest of my life?”. Tears started to flow.

I mustered up the guts to call a friend. I needed company and something to occupy my mind so that it wouldn’t consume me. I arrived at their house, still riddled with anxiety. My stomach was in knots, eyes were darting, and I was sweating more than I should have been. My mind wouldn’t shut up. “Are you going to spend the rest of your life here?” My breaths were deep but seemed to lack oxygen. I became dizzy and adrenaline shot through my veins like someone had drugged me. My friend asked “Are you okay? You look a little nerve-wrecked”. All of a sudden I felt extremely uncomfortable. I couldn’t drag my friend in this. I immediately grabbed my things and left the house. I couldn’t ask for shelter from my own thoughts. I was a ticking time bomb of self-mutilated emotion that was about to blow. Where was I to go if I couldn’t go to my friends?

Mostly cloudy mind with a chance of anxiety storms

I could feel my body start to break down as I ran to my car. An overwhelming sense of fear and anxiety took over as I drove myself to the only place of safety I could think of: the Emergency Room. By the time I ran through the double glass doors of the hospital my face was as red as a fire extinguisher and the knots in my stomach were tearing up my insides. The doctors could hear the difficulty in my breathing and took me to the back right away. I woke up 20 minutes later laying in a hospital bed with an IV stuck in my right arm. Unaccompanied in a curtained room, I heard only the voices of nurses fluttering by. There I was, alone again. Unsure what they gave me, the doctors released me after handing me various prescriptions for anxiety.

It was about 2:00am when I got home, my eyes were red and puffy and I climbed into my bed. Was this going to happen again next Sunday?

Monday Morning: I slipped into my office without anyone noticing and kept my sunglasses on so that no one would see my severely swollen eyes. I knew I couldn’t hide it for long. My boss peeked his head in and said, “Hey, ding-dong, take your sunglasses off. You look ridiculous”. I pulled them off and tried desperately not to look up, but it wasn’t enough to keep my boss quiet. 

As soon as he asked the dreaded question, “What’s wrong?”, I verbally blasted every thought that was on my mind at that moment. My god, I had no idea how depressed I was until it all started to pour out. My boss just stared at me, shocked. He phoned in the President and the three of us discussed my situation for almost 2 hours. My employers were like family and wanted me to be happy. The President announced he would give me 3 months pay up front to go and find happiness. The catch? I couldn’t come back. I’ll never forget the words from my boss that day. He said, “Brianna, you gotta go find what makes you happy because it’s obviously not here. Go to France! Maybe that makes you happy. You won’t know what it is until you go find it”.

I was given the afternoon off and went back the next day to get my big, generous check. What to do now? I drove home and stared at the ceiling again. What do you do when someone gives you time and money, the two things that no one ever has? I had no idea. I spent the afternoon at a coffee shop looking at job listings in Kansas City. It hadn’t hit me yet. I wandered in to a book store and found a spiral-bound book of driving maps for the United States. Suddenly it hit me. I bought the book and ran out of the store. I realized that I was given time, and I didn’t want to waste it. My money would run out eventually and I didn’t want to blow it staying where I started. I then went over to a sports equipment store and bought an expensive backpack. I didn’t know what the hell for, but I needed it. I planned to fill the backpack with some essentials and explore in search of enlightenment. 

The next week was spent planning amazing trips! I contacted friends in other states and reserved couches and spare beds. My sister was planning out her internship in Kansas City and offered to pay my rent while I was away in exchange for use of my apartment. Everything was falling into place. Over the next few months I ventured off to Chicago, St. Louis, Colorado Springs, Phoenix, Denver, Los Angeles and Santa Monica. Every day was spent exploring and seeking what excited me. I started to realize my flexibility: I was not on a lease, I had no boyfriend, no pets, no job. Now was the time to change things!

Denver Skyline - Grass Is Always Greener

Denver won my heart after spending a few days with some friends downtown. I headed back to Kansas City and applied for jobs near the Rocky Mountains. I was still on a rush of excitement that I was really going to change things. I got a phone call from a potential employer in Denver and asked if I could come in for an interview that Thursday. I panicked a little thinking that a last minute plane ticket would affect my funds so I decided to drive out for the interview instead. It was a time consuming and expensive risk that I was willing to take. Sure enough, that Wednesday night I drove 8 hours to get to Denver for that fateful interview. He offered me the job on the spot. I accepted.

I anxiously boxed up my belonging and moved with great anticipation of starting fresh in Colorado. I’ve been living happily in Denver for almost three years now. My anxiety quickly disappeared and a sense of calmness has came over me. I’m finally in a place I can call home, found new activities that I love, and have met friends that will last a lifetime. I look back on my situation years ago and wonder what would have happened to me had I not listened to my own warning signs (and my boss’s advice).

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

I have found that this proverb is often spoken to make people think that, in reality, other circumstances are often not as desirable as they may appear. People who are afraid of change try to discourage others from changing by explaining that the grass is not greener; it’s the same dull grass. Maybe they are comfortable and like their grass just the way it is. I am happy for those that can be content in any situation. I am, however, not one of those people. The point is, I don’t want to live my life trusting that all the grass in the world is the same color. I want to experience it myself. Maybe the grass is the same color, but what if the other side of the fence has grass covered in snow, or kittens chasing bugs, or a beautiful pond surrounded by wildflowers. Despite what people say, you may never know until you jump the fence.

Brianna Dean is an outdoor enthusiast with a passion for skiing. She grew up in Southern California and frequently moved as a child until she and her family settled in Kansas, much to her dismay. Feeling trapped and unfulfilled in a comfortable, mundane life, she packed up and moved to Colorado. Although she now calls Denver home, Brianna is currently spending the winter at the base of a mountain while working for a ski company. She enjoys biking, hiking, rock climbing, camping, and playing with her dog, Pali (who is named after a ski lift at Arapahoe Basin). When not working you will find her mastering a 360 at the terrain park, cooking vegetarian dinners, or discussing epic powder days at a dive bar.

By Jim Calder

If this headline caught your attention, that is because it should. We all love secrets, whether it is the alleged affairs of a professional golfer, a secret stock tip, or career advice. It is safe to say that most of us want to advance in life. But there comes a point where we all must look in the mirror and question our ethics and our motives for success. Many are still following an outdated blueprint for success, which involves tremendous amounts of greed and stepping on and over people. This is shocking when there are other smarter and modern ways to become successful.

This Year …

This has been a big year for me, and I feel I have a lot to share:

This year, I was 31 years old,

This year, ends the decade that I started my career in publishing all the way back in 2001,

This year, I built my first website from scratch,

This year, I Co-formed a start-up company called ProLong Magazine, LLC and launched ProLong Magazine.

Note: This year I married the love of my life, but that is a whole different story for another day.

The Man or Women in the Mirror

During the last few months with the launch of our start-up I have learned some valuable principles and ethics that everyone should borrow or steal.

The first step involves taking a look in the mirror and asking yourself:
a) What kind of person are you?
b) Do you only make decisions based only on increasing your bank account?
c) What motivates you to be successful?
d) In 40 years will you regret how cut throat you are with people?

If these answers are hard to swallow or sound horribly wrong when you answer them in your head, you must realize that it is never too late to change.

So how do you start your own personal transformation? Take these simple steps.

7 Steps to Success

1) Treat everyone the way that you treat your family, your boss, your biggest clients and your best customers. Treating everyone you meet this way won’t cost you much and will absolutely give you a much rewarding and fulfilling life. And if anything else some people will actually show up for your funeral.

2) When someone talks, listen. Don’t spend that time crafting a response. Take in what they are saying and really try to listen to what the person has to say.

3) When someone you don’t know sends you an email asking for information or help with something, try taking the time to help them out. Don’t delete the email; try responding even if you can’t help the person.

4) Take a closer look at your schedule next time someone asks you to do something. Are you really as busy as you think? Maybe you could miss your favorite show one night to help a friend edit a paper for school, or get off of facebook once in a while to lend a hand to your friends or contacts when needed.

5) We are all guilty of avoiding certain things. Tell yourself that winners and leaders do not avoid things; they take on new challenges despite knowing the amount of work that will be required.

6) Stop being Phony: If you find that you are fake when dealing with coworkers, friends, family and even strangers, ask yourself why?

7) Never become out of reach from the masses. This seems to be a common trait in many successful people, the ability to allow yourself to stay within reach. Sure celebrities are often out of reach, but most of them are fake plastic people.

Heroes Walk Among Us

While I was working at a publishing house I had the opportunity to chase a lot of famous authors for interviews in our magazines. Many times it took some guess work or searching online to find their email addresses. But once that Interview Request was sent, I was shocked at how many of these authors would respond personally to me.

One author that sticks out in my head is Marketing Guru and best-selling author Seth Godin (Sethgodin.typepad.com).
Seth was more than happy to be interviewed by me via email more than once. This is a man who is asked by companies such as Google to give motivational speeches to their employees … giving me a few minutes of his time. It simply blew my mind, and left a lasting impression.

Why was Mr. Godin so generous with his time? Maybe he was just a nice guy. But maybe he was a nice guy who realized the importance of staying within reach, and the value of our word-of-mouth reputations. Thanks again Seth, I will be in touch soon to borrow a few more minutes of your time for an exclusive interview with ProLong Magazine.

Everyone Needs A Team

It has been my personal experience that many things worth doing in life cannot be achieved alone. Take this theory and apply it to building your career, your own business, a relationship, an audience, a sports team and more. No one will lend a hand or do you a favor if you are rude and short with everyone that you meet. On sites like facebook and Twitter there are millions of people just waiting to find you and create relationships that last. We can’t just spam our message out to people with no interaction.

For all of those still looking in the mirror thinking about how horrible of a human being you have been you can stop now. None of us, especially I can be perfect. But we can all start making better efforts.

Jim Calder is the brand architect and co-founder of ProLong Magazine. Jim was born with the perfect combination of cockiness and self consciousness. He has over 10 years of publishing industry experience and lives and works in Philadelphia, Pa. He currently can be found on the greatest adventure of his life as a newlywed with his wife Melissa. Jim can be contacted via email at jim@prolongmagazine.com

by Adrian Hoppel

I know the meaning of life.

I’m not kidding; I’ve figured it out some years ago. Do you want to know what it is? Well, as is the case in these kind of things, I can’t easily share it with you. Its the sort of thing you really need to uncover yourself. But perhaps I can try to share some insights from my journey of discovery, and maybe you’ll find them helpful. I hope so, because I’m sure I’m right about this, and that is why this column was born. Heady stuff, I agree; I’ve never been known to be short of ego or ambition. But more about me later…

There is a philosophy my wife and I developed that we call “Follow The Path”. The foundation of this ideology is a neat little juxtaposition: that the course of events in your life that will lead you to be truly happy are pre-determined, but the challenge (and where most fail) is to recognize when these events arise and to make the right choice. It is a destiny that is only available to you if you are careful with your free will.

It starts with a question, and this is the hardest part, because I think it is the most important question in your life. In fact, it is the question OF your life, and it is this:

What Is Most Important To You?

And you only get one answer. Uncovering something like this takes a lot of serious thought, meditation, reflection… it is no easy task. Whatever it is, achieving it should be the one thing that, lying on your deathbed, would give you cause to say your life was a success.

Think about that. A lot.

One thing. Seems like small thinking? Just one thing? I realize there are a lot of things we want to do; we all have a lot of goals, a lot of dreams. There is not enough time and resources for us to accomplish all the wonders we imagine.

And that is the point.

We are constantly bombarded with all the things that we want to do, all the things we need to do. Pressure is thrown on us from every direction, and often most fiercely from within. We become unfocused, things seem complicated, and our decision making suffers. So we get on ourselves even more, we push ourselves even harder.

We often spend too much of our energy on things that are not truly important, and neglect the things that are. We stop following the path toward happiness, because we are pushing ourselves in the wrong direction. And when that spiral really gets going, the pressure becomes stress, and we suffer physically, mentally and spiritually. You know something is not right, you can feel it at work, you can feel it in your relationships, you can sense it inside. You are wandering in the woods… off the path.

What Is Most Important To You?

Find that answer. If you don’t answer that question, or if you don’t answer it correctly, it is like trying to hit a target wearing a blindfold. You might hit it; you probably won’t. Either way, you will waste a lot of time trying, and our time here is short.

The answer is the key to the process, the key to following the path. Once you find the answer, it needs to become the focal point of every decision you face as you head down the path. Every time you are faced with choosing a direction, you simply choose the direction that most leads toward that which you value the most.

“Big” decisions, “small” decisions – it does not matter. Every choice you make is either going to bring you closer to achieving your answer, or take you further away from it. Every choice you make will either take you further down the path, or lead you astray into the woods.

That’s the trick. Sounds easy, and in a way, it is. It is easy to see the choice, to see the right answer. But that does not mean it is easy to do. If you are disciplined to this approach, if you really stay true to the path, many of your decisions are going to seem odd, are going to even be controversial. It doesn’t matter; if you were true and honest when you answered The Question, and if you are staying true to that answer, you are staying true to yourself and you will ultimately be right.

Even when the choice seems really difficult, it is usually because either choice appears to have such major ramifications on your life. Maybe they do… and maybe they don’t. It is hard to see far down the path, often you can barely make out where the next turn is.

But there are always signs. Seriously. When you are faced with the choice, and you are truly deciding which direction will continue down the path, just follow the signs. If you are really concentrating hard on the choice, the signs will be big and bright, and the choice (however shocking) will be obvious.

Following the path has been just that way for me; it has been easy to see the direction to go, but sometimes hard to go through with it. Sometimes I’ve been second guessed by everyone whose opinions I cared about, yet I forged ahead. I stayed on the path, on my path. At least, I try to.

When I find myself flailing in the forest, unsure how I got to be wandering so far off the path, I retrace my steps, my decisions, back to where I was when I was still on the path. I identify exactly what choice led me astray, and I try to correct. Staying on – following the path – that is the challenge of a lifetime.

Adrian Hoppel is in crazy-love with the same woman for 13 years and running.  Together they share 3 brilliant children, a lovely dog that unknowingly suffers from ADD, and a really, really small house in Philadelphia.  He has driven across and through most of the United States, including 3 cross-country moves with the entire family.  He’s held a variety of jobs since college in a variety of fields including: professional soldier; concrete laborer; cemetery salesperson; telecommunications salesperson; roofing salesperson; office supplies salesperson; business development consultant; and medical advertising salesperson.  Adrian also fancies himself to be The One to write the next Great American Novel.  He believes passionately in the Bill of Rights, natural childbirth, natural parenting, natural living, homeschooling, and a dedication to a lifestyle philosophy he and his wife call “Following the Path”.

Follow The Path will be a monthly article as well as a semi-daily blog where Adrian will share anecdotes and explore the meaning of life and other such trivial minutiae.