By Cynna Woo

The morning drive back to New Jersey is cold and dark at 7 a.m. This winter has been the snowiest ever. I never mind the drive down to New Jersey too much. It’s the reverse route back over the river and through the concrete jungle of Philadelphia, Yeadon and then Lansdowne that I dread.
A few weeks back my husband Tom and I had two consecutive snow days off together. This four story house has increasing temperatures on each floor. You never saw anyone quite as fast as me when I hurry to the cold and sometimes windy basement to throw in a wash before frostbite sets in. The kitchen and living room are freezing. It makes for really speedy dinner preparation, unless it’s a dinner requiring the oven, which can help warm up the first floor. We can watch TV in the living room by peering out from snuggly blankets. I’m really not cheap with turning up the heat, it’s just warm as toast on third floor bedroom and it makes you want to rip your clothes off. Cue Song One – “Hot in Herre” by Nelly.

While we were housebound and the snow swirled and showed no sign of stopping, we came to the conclusion that we really need a new kitchen. Between taking turns shoveling two feet of snow from our driveway and sidewalk we thought up ways to shorten the distance between our two homes. First, we’ll need to sell the house. After twenty some years, all of the things we did to this house, need to be done again! When you are thinking about selling your house in an older neighborhood and a not so great school district, you must have an eye catcher, something that the buyer want. I would say a new kitchen is on top of buyer’s lists.

Thus, lately commutes to work have been filled with visions of cabinets running around in my head. You would think I am redesigning the Taj Mahal rather than my little blue galley of a kitchen. I remember picking out the wall paper back in the eighties and trying to match that blue pattern with the paint we would apply to our 1940’s cabinets. I can almost hear Barbara Streisand singing “Memories” now.

Last month I was dreaming of a city pied-a-terre, a place to return to every weekend, a place where you walk to restaurants and bike along the Schuylkill River. Every idea includes a “but first”. Sell the house, but first remodel. Remodel what … oh yes the kitchen, but first plan and cost and save and spend. Every weekend in February was spent in Lowes, Home Depot and Sears. My ability to choose the highest priced anything is uncanny. Once the choices are made, it’s time to clean out the cupboards and heaven forbid, throw away that 20 year old Tupperware. This takes hours due to daydreaming at every baby spoon I hold, and the picture in my mind of each of my little kids holding certain cups or cereal bowls.

Let me take some photos so I’ll remember this old kitchen. Cue the Beatles, “In My Life;” doesn’t everyone’s life have a soundtrack like mine does? This is definitely going to take more time than I thought. But first, let me turn off Jimmie Leeds Road and hope I can find a parking place among the mounds of snow.

The Commuter is a column by Cynna Woo. She has been commuting between South Jersey and the Philadelphia suburbs for the last four years. When she first landed her great job as an academic advisor in N.J. she did not mind the drive. But, driving 65 miles one way grew old very fast. She shortened the drive time by buying a condo in Smithville, NJ. She now lives like a single person during the week and commutes to her “big house” and husband of 35 years, on the weekends. She would like to share her commuter musings, while driving. She will actually write them down when she gets home, because she hasn’t perfected writing while driving quite yet. Cynna enjoys reviewing movies, show tunes, listening to Howard Stern, speaking in french, collecting mermaids, hiking, and spending quality time with her amazing family.

Giving Up the House Life for Apartment Living … Maybe

By Cynna Woo

When people are young many long to leave the city and save every dollar to get more space out in the burbs. Somewhere along the line, the goal may change.

Here it is a new year; as I was heading back to NJ after a much needed 10 day break for the holidays. One of the best perks of working in higher education is the time off at Christmas. Let’s not forget about the four day work week in the summer either, it is one of the reasons I applied for this position 65 miles from my home.

Now, we’re a two home couple, one is a big drafty house that could use updating after 22 years of fixing things mostly when they break. The other is a tiny condo with one bedroom, where I never lose things. However, the big house is jealous of the small house because it has the coveted walk-in closet.

This new year brings a new promotion for my husband and it has me thinking that I’ll be driving into this morning sun glare for some time yet. Plenty of time alone in my car to start constructing our plans for the future.

If he is going to stay in PA, I think I would like to sell the big house and move to a center city apartment.
An apartment!
My friends are already exclaiming, “Why would you throw your money away like that?”

I think that it would be nice to not be responsible for everything that breaks. I wouldn’t feel guilty for not “updating” the old house. My commute would be cut by a half hour and I could do it by train if needed. I think we could be OK with renting for a bit, I don’t want to jump right in and buy in the city. I need to know if city life is more fun and exciting or more expensive and dangerous. I also probably haven’t even thought about the expense or hassle of parking two cars in the city either. Still, I would like to be able to walk to dinner or a movie or even the theater, a wish common among other empty nesters.

Ah that word, empty nester, how it saddens me, although there’s really no reason to be sad. My children have been out of the house for quite some time now. In fact my son is planning home renovations of his own. How funny the words, “Everything costs so much,” are coming from his mouth. I think his bathroom will cost the same as our first house.

The time raising children is endless when you are going through it and looking back it went by far too quickly.

Almost to work, and I can’t wait to see that Galloway Wawa, with the gas price twenty cents cheaper than PA. This week I’ll be facing re-admit students. These are students who left college a few years ago or sometimes a decade ago. They’ll be surprised if they have more classes to go than they thought. It’s funny how one remembers needing only a few courses to graduate when a few may be a year or more of academic work. But I’m glad they’re coming; it keeps me in business.

The Commuter is a column by Cynna Woo. She has been commuting between South Jersey and the Philadelphia suburbs for the last four years. When she first landed her great job as an academic advisor in N.J. she did not mind the drive. But, driving 65 miles one way grew old very fast. She shortened the drive time by buying a condo in Smithville, NJ. She now lives like a single person during the week and commutes to her “big house” and husband of 35 years, on the weekends. She would like to share her commuter musings, while driving. She will actually write them down when she gets home, because she hasn’t perfected writing while driving quite yet. Cynna enjoys reviewing movies, show tunes, listening to Howard Stern, speaking in french, collecting mermaids, hiking, and spending quality time with her amazing family.

Commuter IV

By Cynna Woo

No commute for me this weekend because of the holidays, I’m enjoying a day off from work watching morning television in bed while trolling the Internet. I like reading newspapers online and shopping for Christmas. It is so much easier than wandering aimlessly through department stores searching for something to jump out at me.

My recently married daughter is student teaching and thus without income. She announced “we’re doing a budget Christmas this year,” does this mean I get to cut back as well? No, that’s not the spirit! I’m finally in a position where it doesn’t take until June to pay off Christmas. Now that my children are adults and give me decent lists that don’t ask for a car or a pony, I enjoy shopping for them and their boyfriend/girlfriend.

Oh that’s right; I am a mother-in-law now, something that will take time getting used to. I feel my every utterance is now shared with “him”. I must learn not to be needy and to share my daughter with another family. Thank God her “him” is the perfect person for her. Both my son and daughter have chosen to love someone I love as well, who could ask for more? (although I always do want more). In the future I’ll brace myself for the Christmas morning when it will be only the two of us. But this year everyone will be at my house on Christmas Eve. All my nieces and nephews are teenagers and have stopped jumping on the furniture. We’ll play games, open gifts and have fun being together. On Christmas morning, I’ll be mom and mom-in-law, waiting for the newlyweds to come down the stairs for coffee in front of the tree.

Tonight it is my husband who will make the commute, much more difficult because so many more people travel back from Philadelphia to New Jersey every day. This living apart can be trying. However, It does have a few positives and anticipation of my Tom’s arrival on a Friday night is one of them.

We have a little dinner when he arrives, and afterwards we walk over to the Village of Smithville, right across the street. Smithville is an old fashioned village of quaint little shops and an Inn that serves dinner and hosts weddings and events. It sits on a lake with paddle-boats ducks and giant white geese. There are 25 lighted trees floating on the lake. Music plays and the trees change colors to tunes by Mannheim Steamroller and The Carpenters. We are often the only ones observing this spectacular and I add my own interpretive dance if no one is looking. Tonight being Friday, there will probably be others about, celebrating the Christmas season by dinning at the Inn and strolling among the shops. Fred and Ethel’s, is a tavern and eatery in the village. It offers live music on Friday evenings. Who will it be tonight, the staring bartender-the one who never seems to notice an empty glass, or the perky girl bartender who serves peanuts with a flair? Either way it’s our own little “Cheers” and I love it.

The Commuter is a column by Cynna Woo. She has been commuting between South Jersey and the Philadelphia suburbs for the last four years. When she first landed her great job as an academic advisor in N.J. she did not mind the drive. But, driving 65 miles one way grew old very fast. She shortened the drive time by buying a condo in Smithville, NJ. She now lives like a single person during the week and commutes to her “big house” and husband of 35 years, on the weekends. She would like to share her commuter musings, while driving. She will actually write them down when she gets home, because she hasn’t perfected writing while driving quite yet. Cynna enjoys reviewing movies, show tunes, listening to Howard Stern, speaking in french, collecting mermaids, hiking, and spending quality time with her amazing family.

The Commuter

By Cynna Woo

Seven A.M. and it’s nice and bright for my return trip to New Jersey. Last week at this time, it was dark and gloomy. The trees are more yellow than green and I feel upbeat about the day and the week ahead. Thank goodness for daylight savings.

I’m thinking about my sis-in-law, home on her first day of retirement at the young age of 59. She is the first in my age group to retire. It was just last month when her company offered incentives; she felt no need to retire then, I guess they made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.

Since I started my professional career later in life, I can’t imagine the thought of “retirement”. Will I be like my mother who has also just retired, at the age of 78? I want to follow the progress of these two women, whom I love dearly. Let’s see how my feelings about retirement alter as my 50’s roll along.

I suppose some of the Phillies retire at the age of 30 or 40. How do they feel? Most of them go on to new careers like sports announcers or managers, possibly car dealership spokesmen or coaches, like the Yankees coach. A few months back I was caught up in the battle of the Phillies and the Yankees World Series. For the first time I tuned the radio to sports talk for a few minutes. The radio discussed the pitching and hitting, not the important things like the beautiful shade of A-rod’s skin or the way Cliff Lee stands just before he winds up. Quel homme (what a man)! As long as I turn my head just before the spitting close up, I love baseball.

Almost there now, a quick trip, time to stop thinking about baseball and retirement and get ready to advise those students concerning their spring schedule. I can hear a chorus of “there’s nothing left to take,” and this is only the first week of registration.

Suddenly I was distracted by the Grinch that stole Christmas on the front lawn of lonely little bungalow on Route 30. I can’t believe it is Christmas time again.

The Commuter is a column by Cynna Woo. She has been commuting between South Jersey and the Philadelphia suburbs for the last four years. When she first landed her great job as an academic advisor in N.J. she did not mind the drive. But, driving 65 miles one way grew old very fast. She shortened the drive time by buying a condo in Smithville, NJ. She now lives like a single person during the week and commutes to her “big house” and husband of 35 years, on the weekends. She would like to share her commuter musings, while driving. She will actually write them down when she gets home, because she hasn’t perfected writing while driving quite yet. Cynna enjoys reviewing movies, show tunes, listening to Howard Stern, speaking in french, collecting mermaids, hiking, and spending quality time with her amazing family.

The Commuter

By Cynna Woo

Sometimes when working a 9-5 job, you can’t seem to get out the door fast enough on a Friday. It may start around noon or 1 pm usually. You start to get that itchy feeling that the weekend is here. You see others start to slip out the back door of the office, and it only makes you want to hit the road yourself.

Your start to get an influx of emails from friends and family about their weekend plans and it is enough to drive any worker crazy. You start to mentally imagine yourself all ready in the car and looking back on the activities of a busy week in your mind.

Fridays Always Take Longer
The drive home on Friday evening usually takes the longest time, sometimes two hours or more. Last week was a busy week for academic advising. The spring schedule came out and the students are flocking to my office for guidance on their choice of classes. The best part is meeting freshman who are eager to choose classes for their second semester. It is so much more refreshing than hearing, “I just want to get outa here.” For every student with a sluggish nature there must be ten more confident ones with their eye on the horizon – graduation. It’s the highs and lows, the motivated and the needy, the impressive and lackadaisical, which keeps me challenged.

Exit Strategy
The long week and back-to-back appointments makes me long to be “outa here” myself. The later in the day, the more frantic the students become because that elusive perfect schedule has not materialized. Last words of the day, “did you know that course is cross-listed and there are more seats under a related major?” “Oh my god, you made my day”, exclaims the ecstatic student, and with that, like Elvis, I have left the building.

The Back Roads
Last Friday I didn’t leave until 5:30 and it still took an 1 hour and 30 minutes to get home, despite taking the back roads. I drive the back roads when I’m feeling especially cheap and want to save that $3 Egg Harbor City toll. I like driving past the farms. Today I took a crossover road that I have never taken before. I like looking at the quaint old houses, some split-levels from the sixties, and assorted dilapidated ranch houses with three junk cars and a hot water heater in the yard. However, on this street … I saw a turkey buzzard, just sitting there on the ground eating a dead something. Before I could see what he killed, I hurried to the expressway entrance.

The Good Kind Of Funk
Hitting cruise control at 70 while listening to the funk at 5 on XPN radio. Every week from 5 to 7 p.m WXPN 88.5 in Philadelphia offers Funky Friday. Listening to James Brown and Earth Wind and Fire, at 70 miles per hour feels like I’m flying. All the traffic on the AC expressway however, passes me by like there’s no tomorrow. I really believe that there is a speed limit; even if no one else seems to think so. I just heard Jungle Boogie by Kool & the Gang, who couldn’t dance to that, even if it is in the car. I’ll be home in no time to see my man.

The Commuter is a weekly column by Cynna Woo. She has been commuting between South Jersey and the Philadelphia suburbs for the last four years. When she first landed her great job as an academic advisor in N.J. she did not mind the drive. But, driving 65 miles one way grew old very fast. She shortened the drive time by buying a condo in Smithville, NJ. She now lives like a single person during the week and commutes to her “big house” and husband of 35 years, on the weekends. She would like to share her commuter musings, while driving. She will actually write them down when she gets home, because she hasn’t perfected writing while driving quite yet. Cynna enjoys reviewing movies, show tunes, listening to Howard Stern, speaking in french, collecting mermaids, hiking, and spending quality time with her amazing family.

By Cynna Woo

At times in life we are given rare and interesting moments containing vast opportunities to question… everything in our worlds. These are times when it is OK to space out without judgment and contemplate the meaning of life, our goals, our relationships, our passions and what comes next for our friends and family.

For myself these often seem to take place in my car on my bi-state commute. Because I live in two states I am constantly traveling between New Jersey and Pennsylvania. Sometimes it’s to PA on weekends and back to Jersey early on Monday mornings. My commuter life includes a bi-state marriage and when the whole week is too long without a husband, I visit my PA home for a night. Last Wednesday was one of those nights. I finally submitted my yearly personal statement, along with letters of recommendations, job summary, resume, and plaudits from adoring students. This task is the scourge of my life. Being a N.J. state worker can have its perks but having a yearly contract, and all the trappings of renewal, sure isn’t one of them. I gave it everything except the laurel and hardy handshake! Now that it has been submitted, a great stone has been lifted and it’s time to celebrate with a dinner at Applebees (I’m easy).
Then the drive turned strange. I had my dad on my mind since yesterday, what would have been his 80th birthday. I was almost home, riding through my old home town past one of his old haunts, the local diner. I swear I saw him walking up the ramp into the place. His figure is barrel chested and barrel bellied with a forward thrusting gait. It was a kind of peripheral view and I guess there are many many men that look like him. But it was good to see him again and I hope he enjoyed the meal.

The Commuter is a weekly column by Cynna Woo. She has been commuting between South Jersey and the Philadelphia suburbs for the last four years. When she first landed her great job as an academic advisor in N.J. she did not mind the drive. But, driving 65 miles one way grew old very fast. She shortened the drive time by buying a condo in Smithville, NJ. She now lives like a single person during the week and commutes to her “big house” and husband of 35 years, on the weekends. She would like to share her commuter musings, while driving. She will actually write them down when she gets home, because she hasn’t perfected writing while driving quite yet. Cynna enjoys reviewing movies, show tunes, listening to Howard Stern, speaking in french, collecting mermaids, hiking, and spending quality time with her amazing family.