Life Lessons Via Bert

By Robert J. Ottaviani

Parents are not like free refills. You have one set, drink them slowly

You may love, be loved, and be in love but you will never fully understand love. It is far too complex, mercurial and has layer after layer of depth. It is both vast and infinite and forever challenging.

Products cannot be both “new and improved”. If it’s improved it’s not new.

If you had to sacrifice one sense, would it be sight or hearing? Think about it.

One of the best and least expensive ways to improve your demeanor is a good haircut.

If the sky was green and the trees blue would we be living in a better world?

Hard work doesn’t always guarantee the best result but the alternative never will.

What is it about a new set of clothes that puts a little extra zip in you step?

Preparation is the best way to exude confidence at a meeting, interview or seminar. Put in the work before hand so you’re not selling as much as you are enhancing.

Was it a simpler life in simpler times or was it just because we were younger?

Remember when a guy wore his hair long he was considered a “bad element”. The length of one’s hair doesn’t determine his nature, his heart does!

A hard storm complete with lightning and thunder beats a fireworks display every day of the week.

If you live long enough you will see fashion trends, decor and accessories come back into vogue. They may be tagged vintage or retro but they were used decades ago and are experiencing a second life.

Do reality shows devalue the professional actor when “regular” people are the stars?

The mullet was a hairstyle that caused quite a stir when it surfaced and remains somewhat of a cultural phenomenon. Business in the front … party in the back.

Tattoos are no longer edgy, everybody has them.

I’d pay a king’s ransom to find the original creamsicle, not this popsicle sized generic imitation they sell today. I hate when they alter perfection.

Stress is not some new condition that only recently appeared. It’s been part of the world for long, long time. Its previous name was yelling, screaming and behaving badly.

Why does night time give you more apprehension than day time in the same exact environment?

Random acts of kindness still remain one of life’s little jewels.

Sports used to be a predominantly watched venue by males. Those days are changed forever.

Sometimes the best vacations have very little planning, they just unfold magically.

As much as the world has changed and it has evolved greatly, a first date has not. It still involves dinner and a movie more often than not.

Has Webster’s dictionary been rendered completely useless now that the internet is available?

A good friend is like your favorite blanket … warm, comforting and always there when you reach for it.

If you wake up in the morning contemplating how to get through the day … believe it or not you win again … if only because you’ve awoken.

Do they still have summer playground for kids? Those were some fond memories that I still carry with me whether it was table hockey or making lanterns.

Never let your guard down and be someone you are not … people are watching you whether they announce it or not.

The older I get the more I want to be a kid again … The years go by quicker now.

Death and taxes are NOT the only two certainties, prejudice will be here till the earth calls it quits.

I want the energy of a 10 year old, the looks of a 20 year old, the ambition of a 30 year old, the confidence of a 40 year old and the wisdom of a 50 year old and I want it all when I’m 25.

Traditional shopping malls are the last true dinosaurs inhabiting our earth.

What’s more important to you … winning or learning how to win?

Make a selection from the following: Health … Wealth … Peace of Mind.

Quitting cigarettes was the hardest thing I’ve done … that is if you don’t count relinquishing the remote to my spouse.

Robert J. Ottaviani (Bert) is a cusp born Aries the ram who has lived through summer of love in the late sixties and the hippie culture that bled into the seventies. He has a passion for music, gardening and all things nature … and laffy taffy. He is freakishly aware of music trivia to absurd levels. Most days you can find him playing his guitar or jotting down lyrics. He was so impacted from the moment he first heard the Beatles that he has Beatle manianized his life, been to Liverpool, England and remains convinced he is the fifth Beatle . He is married to a gentle and lovely vibe of a woman with three wonderful children. He currently lives and resides in strawberry fields forever.