6 Types of People

Which Are You?

By Robert J. Ottaviani

I believe that there are six types of people who interact with each other on this earth. They are as follows:

THE ONE UPPERS:

We have all encountered these types along the way. Your telling a story and when you are finished with your story it pales in comparison to the story the “ONE UPPER” is about to regale you with. Their stories are always much bolder, way longer and far more interesting and they’re only too smug to tell you so. That is, when they even allow you to even finish your story … because of their belief that everyone wants to listen to only them. ‘ONE UPPERS” crave the spotlight, need attention, and are genuinely not interested in your opinion. “ONE UPPERS” can leave you feeling uninteresting and largely inadequate and do not make you a better human being.

THE POLIANNA’S

Initially with these people you can succumb to their kindness. They are often referred to as being so nice. The poly’s allure is equal parts gentle persuasion, attentiveness and a complimentary nature. They are generally very upbeat and positive. They constantly look to find the silver lining even in times when there is simply none. Their garbage smells like potpourri and that stupid smiley face is their icon of choice. Their glass is always half full. But their shelf life is very short. They are constantly being overrun by aggressive people who exploit them and discover they’re fragile psyche. In a dog eat dog world they are the rawhide, chewed up constantly and spit out in the process.

THE WHACKS:

Per chance you have met them and probably quickly dismissed them because they don’t seem to fit into mainstream America but a closer look is warranted. They are the proverbial square peg in a round hole. The whacks don’t dress like you, don’t act like you and don’t live in the same world as you but interestingly enough are asked to interact with you. If you don’t invest a lot of emotional sacrifice and watch from a safe distance they are actually quite intriguing. Creativity, albeit misguided at times can be a central part of their journey through life. Genetically, they are not wired like you and therefore their theories and perceptions are really quite amusing. They are actually some of my favorite people because they can bring a smile to your face and break up the monotonous normalcy of everyday living. They are the car wreck you are freakishly fascinated by but glad you are not experiencing yourself.

THE 9 -5′ERS:

These groups need to exercise extreme caution, probably more so than most. Without much fanfare you will slip into a cyclical routine of boredom. Work, sleep, and wait for the weekend. Work, sleep, and wait for the weekend. Picture yourself on a treadmill with the off button just out of reach. Sometimes we just need to jump off. 9-5′ers generally have structure in their lives, are well organized and have little or no retail background. Social outings and events are usually planned well in advance and impromptu soirees are kept to a minimum. Friday night it’s a movie or a ballgame, Saturday a little work around the house, by Sunday you’re already thinking about work Monday morning so you shut it down early. If it’s a six sided box you’re living in be sure to open the lid and get some fresh air.

THE DOWNERS:

I’m handing out free samples of patience if you have these types in your life on a constant basis. Your constitution had better be very strong because as the saying goes … misery loves company. Let’s see, how does it work? Oh yea … You get that new job you always wanted BUT … now you have to get a new wardrobe. You buy your dream house BUT … now you have a mortgage. You win the lottery BUT now you have to pay the taxes. These folks have a bad case of the blues and I ain’t talkin B.B.KING. They are a weight, an albatross, and a cross to bear. If you are not a strong minded person it can bring you down to a level where it’s a long climb back up. Beware of the woe for it is a dropped anchor around your neck.

THE SALTS:

The salt of the earth. The solid reliable person you go to in any situation. They are unwavering, give solid advice after listening and always seem to have a feel for what you need to do. They are the person everyone seems to lean on and yet never seem overburdened by it all. Never frenetic in nature they are the calm reassuring voice you need to hear and they seldom ask for anything in return. When the world gives us a little more than we can handle these people are golden. You are lucky to have one in your life and blessed if you have more. The salts lighten your emotional load, pick up your spirits and set you back on the right path again. Their work is priceless.

Robert J. Ottaviani (Bert) is a cusp born Aries the ram who has lived through summer of love in the late sixties and the hippie culture that bled into the seventies. He has a passion for music, gardening and all things nature … and laffy taffy. He is freakishly aware of music trivia to absurd levels. Most days you can find him playing his guitar or jotting down lyrics. He was so impacted from the moment he first heard the Beatles that he has Beatle manianized his life, been to Liverpool, England and remains convinced he is the fifth Beatle . He is married to a gentle and lovely vibe of a woman with three wonderful children. He currently lives and resides in strawberry fields forever.