Old Reliable

A Look At An Old New Chapter of Love

Elle Mathews

I was fresh out of high school and ready for a new chapter in my life. Most of my friends went away to college but I chose community college for the first two years. I wanted to save money plus I didn’t have a clue where I wanted to go yet. There were many things I didn’t expect when I started this new chapter in my life. I didn’t expect the classes, especially community college, to be harder than high school or that I wouldn’t easily make friends. I didn’t expect that I would change majors and I certainly didn’t expect to be in a two year relationship. During high school, I didn’t study half as much as I did, I had a good amount of friends and my relationships were two boyfriends in 10th and 11th grades that both lasted about three months.

My new life chapter ended up being a lonely and confusing time but my newest HE was there to pick up the pieces. In the beginning the relationship was new and exciting. He took me out to dinner practically every other night. He would buy things for me that I didn’t ask for and we went to places that I never had been. He showed me how wonderful someone could be treated. But then after awhile, something happened. I began to see we were on two different paths in our lives. Even though he was only three years older then me, (he was 21 and I was 18) he was a couple of stages ahead of me in his life and it started to show. He was finished with college, had a decent job and made decent money. Plus he made extra money working some weekends at a local store. I had just started college, had a part time job and struggled to even pay my tuition. He established himself by the age of 21 and I had no idea what my future held. We tried to find things in common. He thought my friends were immature. I thought his friends were boring. When I went to parties with my friends, I would get lectured about underage drinking. Then I started relying on him for too much. He melted away my problems, fixed anything that was broken and bought me anything that I wanted but couldn’t afford. He even got me a part time job where he worked on the weekends. I convinced myself that I needed him to do almost everything for me to the point where I felt vulnerable without him.

I look back at this now and I don’t believe his intentions were to belittle or control me but to secure his place in the relationship. He was trying to prove to me that I needed him and he succeeded. He wanted so much for my affection that I feel he took it too far. After he broke up with me, my confidence and independence were shattered and it took me awhile to get them back. I learned to never rely that much on a person again. Because life is full of trials and tribulations, I must experience them to live. I just don’t have to do it alone.

The ironic part of it all was that in the end he cheated on me with a “friend” that we both worked with at the store. They were engaged within a couple of months. Working there was a daily reminder of what he did to me until I went away to college six months later. I was humiliated in front of all my coworkers and I went through one of the hardest experiences of my life. The one person who would give me the world for my affection became the one person that hurt me the most.

Elle Mathews is currently trying to break into a field that fits her interests and inventive mind. She has a passion for the performing arts, writing, video editing/TV production and creativity. She can’t get enough of beautiful scenery and wants to see the world. Elle is experienced at dating and online dating and has much to share with our readers. Elle is always up for learning and trying new experiences.