Follow The Path

by Adrian Hoppel

I know the meaning of life.

I’m not kidding; I’ve figured it out some years ago. Do you want to know what it is? Well, as is the case in these kind of things, I can’t easily share it with you. Its the sort of thing you really need to uncover yourself. But perhaps I can try to share some insights from my journey of discovery, and maybe you’ll find them helpful. I hope so, because I’m sure I’m right about this, and that is why this column was born. Heady stuff, I agree; I’ve never been known to be short of ego or ambition. But more about me later…

There is a philosophy my wife and I developed that we call “Follow The Path”. The foundation of this ideology is a neat little juxtaposition: that the course of events in your life that will lead you to be truly happy are pre-determined, but the challenge (and where most fail) is to recognize when these events arise and to make the right choice. It is a destiny that is only available to you if you are careful with your free will.

It starts with a question, and this is the hardest part, because I think it is the most important question in your life. In fact, it is the question OF your life, and it is this:

What Is Most Important To You?

And you only get one answer. Uncovering something like this takes a lot of serious thought, meditation, reflection… it is no easy task. Whatever it is, achieving it should be the one thing that, lying on your deathbed, would give you cause to say your life was a success.

Think about that. A lot.

One thing. Seems like small thinking? Just one thing? I realize there are a lot of things we want to do; we all have a lot of goals, a lot of dreams. There is not enough time and resources for us to accomplish all the wonders we imagine.

And that is the point.

We are constantly bombarded with all the things that we want to do, all the things we need to do. Pressure is thrown on us from every direction, and often most fiercely from within. We become unfocused, things seem complicated, and our decision making suffers. So we get on ourselves even more, we push ourselves even harder.

We often spend too much of our energy on things that are not truly important, and neglect the things that are. We stop following the path toward happiness, because we are pushing ourselves in the wrong direction. And when that spiral really gets going, the pressure becomes stress, and we suffer physically, mentally and spiritually. You know something is not right, you can feel it at work, you can feel it in your relationships, you can sense it inside. You are wandering in the woods… off the path.

What Is Most Important To You?

Find that answer. If you don’t answer that question, or if you don’t answer it correctly, it is like trying to hit a target wearing a blindfold. You might hit it; you probably won’t. Either way, you will waste a lot of time trying, and our time here is short.

The answer is the key to the process, the key to following the path. Once you find the answer, it needs to become the focal point of every decision you face as you head down the path. Every time you are faced with choosing a direction, you simply choose the direction that most leads toward that which you value the most.

“Big” decisions, “small” decisions – it does not matter. Every choice you make is either going to bring you closer to achieving your answer, or take you further away from it. Every choice you make will either take you further down the path, or lead you astray into the woods.

That’s the trick. Sounds easy, and in a way, it is. It is easy to see the choice, to see the right answer. But that does not mean it is easy to do. If you are disciplined to this approach, if you really stay true to the path, many of your decisions are going to seem odd, are going to even be controversial. It doesn’t matter; if you were true and honest when you answered The Question, and if you are staying true to that answer, you are staying true to yourself and you will ultimately be right.

Even when the choice seems really difficult, it is usually because either choice appears to have such major ramifications on your life. Maybe they do… and maybe they don’t. It is hard to see far down the path, often you can barely make out where the next turn is.

But there are always signs. Seriously. When you are faced with the choice, and you are truly deciding which direction will continue down the path, just follow the signs. If you are really concentrating hard on the choice, the signs will be big and bright, and the choice (however shocking) will be obvious.

Following the path has been just that way for me; it has been easy to see the direction to go, but sometimes hard to go through with it. Sometimes I’ve been second guessed by everyone whose opinions I cared about, yet I forged ahead. I stayed on the path, on my path. At least, I try to.

When I find myself flailing in the forest, unsure how I got to be wandering so far off the path, I retrace my steps, my decisions, back to where I was when I was still on the path. I identify exactly what choice led me astray, and I try to correct. Staying on – following the path – that is the challenge of a lifetime.

Adrian Hoppel is in crazy-love with the same woman for 13 years and running.  Together they share 3 brilliant children, a lovely dog that unknowingly suffers from ADD, and a really, really small house in Philadelphia.  He has driven across and through most of the United States, including 3 cross-country moves with the entire family.  He’s held a variety of jobs since college in a variety of fields including: professional soldier; concrete laborer; cemetery salesperson; telecommunications salesperson; roofing salesperson; office supplies salesperson; business development consultant; and medical advertising salesperson.  Adrian also fancies himself to be The One to write the next Great American Novel.  He believes passionately in the Bill of Rights, natural childbirth, natural parenting, natural living, homeschooling, and a dedication to a lifestyle philosophy he and his wife call “Following the Path”.

Follow The Path will be a monthly article as well as a semi-daily blog where Adrian will share anecdotes and explore the meaning of life and other such trivial minutiae.